Melton’s Meat

Our first Ask Billy question of the year comes from Randy in San Francisco: “I just saw May December.  Tell me that’s really all Charles Melton?  I’ve read conflicting reports online, but it sure looked real.”

I hate to be the bearer of bad news – especially so early in the New Year – but you’ve been hoodwinked.  If it’s any consolation, Charles is not trying to pull a fast one on anyone.  In fact, he’s rather forthcoming in admitting it wasn’t him.  “I had to wear that prosthetic for nine hours that day.  I didn’t have anything to drink that morning or the night before.  That was an annoying process but still very respectful.”  It’s amazing that brief scene required nine hours of shooting!  In the interest of being thorough, I will post the scene in question on  


When we’re ringing in the New Year with a fake phallus, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  The good thing about starting with something so anticlimactic is that things can only get better.  If you’re looking for the real thing, simply check out, the site that’ll never steer you wrong.  And if you’re looking for the truth, send your questions to and I promise to get back to you before we celebrate our silver anniversary.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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