Networks Nobody Watches

“As you all know, Mel is a famous EGOT. 
And, after tonight, he’ll be the even rarer EGOOT!” 

Nathan Lane presents Mel Brooks with an Honorary Oscar at the 14th Governors Awards.

I can’t say it enough times – truth is stranger than fiction.  Every once in a while, a headline catches my eye: “Mexican Teen Carries Decapitated Sister’s Head Down the Street”.  This took place in Quiroga, which, admittedly, is not one of Mexico’s more popular destinations.  Still, I was sure this was a made-up story – like half the cases on Caso Cerrado.  But I did my due diligence and was shocked to discover that it did, in fact, happen.  19-year-old Sebastián was arrested when witnesses saw him carrying his sister Julieta’s decapitated head “in broad daylight” – as if moonlight would have made it all better!  Obviously he was arrested, and the police stated he appeared to be intoxicated.  I have so many questions, including why he was carrying a rifle.  A machete, yes.  But a rifle?  On the other hand, nobody has said anything about his sister’s torso.


Many people complained to me about the Golden Globes.  They didn’t have an issue with Jo Koy or the ceremony itself.  They just cannot comprehend why network shows no longer get nominated.  Not only did many people never hear of the shows, they hadn’t heard of most of the networks.  I have news for them – it’s only going to get worse.  This week, Don Lemon announced his return to the “airwaves”…and I use that term loosely.  The Don Lemon Show will appear on X, formerly known as Twitter.  I remember scoffing when people were doing shows on Amazon.  At this rate, people will be nominated for shows that can only be seen in cabs (and don’t ask, “What’s a cab?”).

Someone who used to have a show – and perhaps still does, but nobody knows where you can see it – is Judge JudyJudith Sheindlin has used her somewhat diminished platform to endorse Nikki Haley.  “I’m proud to endorse Nikki Haley because she is whip smart, has executive credentials and was a superb governor.  I truly think she can restore America and believe she is the future of this great nation.”


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