Our Ask Billy question asks for an update of a story.  Harry in Providence says, “I remember you saying Pauly Shore wanted to make a movie about Richard Simmons.  I just saw a trailer for it.  How did he get it done so fast?”

You actually didn’t see a trailer for “it”.  The sometime comedian allegedly had a deal with The Wolper Organization to do a feature-length biopic about the exercise guru.  Then things took a strange turn.  “We got another random email from this director named Jake Lewis who did the Robin Williams short and he said he wants to do a Richard Simmons short, not knowing that I had a deal with this production company already.”  Shore read the script and loved it.  A deal was made and it was shot quickly.  And then, a wrinkle – Simmons came out of seclusion to make a statement: “Hi Everybody!  You may have heard they may be doing a movie about me with Pauly Shore.  I have never given my permission for this movie.  So don’t believe everything you read.  I no longer have a manager, and I no longer have a publicist.  I just try to live a quiet life and be peaceful.  Thank you for all your love and support.”  Whatever you may think about Pauly’s acting ability, I think we can all agree on one thing – someone better get that awful wig back to whatever tour of Annie they stole it from!  The Court Jester premiered last week in Park City during the Sundance Film Festival and depicts Simmons’ 2004 appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show (and wait till you see their Ellen).  You can watch it on BillyMasters.com.

When there are battling Richard Simmons projects – both starring Pauly Shore – it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  As we went to press, we heard of the sudden passing of Olympic pole vaulter Shawn Barber.  The openly gay athlete was 29 and suffered what has been called “medical complications”.  There’s nothing particularly complicated about www.BillyMasters.com, the site that surely doesn’t need Richard Simmons’ permission (but we do know he’s a fan).  If you have a question, send it along to me at Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Dame Joan Collins is hired to revive those “Where’s the beef?” commercials for Wendy’s!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.