I know you’re all waiting for me to talk about the Oscars.  Well, what can I say?  I really liked Ryan Gosling’s hair.  What can I say?  The fewer buttons he buttons, the happier I am.  Oh, and I liked his tribute to Marilyn Monroe – which most people seemed to have missed.  Beyond that, I dunno – it was fine.  Da’Vine Joy Randolph proved that support CAN be beautiful.  And, OK, John Cena’s not much with words, but who cares?  John Mulaney needs a haircut.  At one point, I thought it was gonna start raining in the theatre.  I never realized that Billie Eilish is the Christiane Amanpour of music.  I think I might have slept with her brother.  Am I the only one who thinks Ariana wasn’t there and it was Frankie under all that tulle?  And, fun fact – Helen Mirren in her Golda Meir makeup looks exactly like Anna Wintour clean scrubbed!

In honor of the Academy Awards, a special “Could it be…” item:

Could it be that a certain nominee was sporting a little less stubble at the ceremony?  It all started when his “girlfriend” was pissed off that she wasn’t going to be his plus-one…like she had been all awards season.  By then, she had already served her purpose.  Or not.  Our boy shaved his beard quicker than you can say, “See you next Tuesday” – which I believe is how missy got famous in the first place!

When our blind item is always a bridesmaid (literally), we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  Could I give the Academy a tip?  It might be smart to explain to all future presenters that one must either read or allow the announcer to read all of the nominees before tearing into the envelope and proclaiming a winner.  If you are a film buff, or simple a fan of buff film stars, head on over to www.BillyMasters.com, the site where everyone’s a winner.  If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I show up anywhere with Big Mama Masters.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.