Our Ask Billy question looks back to those long-ago Oscars.  Randy in Chicago says, “I loved the John Cena streaker bit at the Oscars.  Is there any behind-the-scenes footage?  Was he actually nude?  I figure you’d know.”

I do know.  Of course, even without knowing, I would have known.  I suspect most people who would be invited to appear on the Academy Awards wouldn’t be the type of people who would want to be nude on the Academy Awards.  Even John Cena – longing as he may be to have his name linked in any way with the Oscars – is not that person.  He is also not so acclaimed as an actor to not go for a laugh, particularly a laugh in which he gets to flaunt his almost-flawless physique alongside his somewhat less-developed comedic chops.  Cena was wearing what is known in the biz as a “modesty garment” (and not the type those nice Mormon boys wear).  This flesh-colored panel adheres directly to one’s skin to provide the illusion of nudity – to say nothing of the genitalia of Ken (of Barbie fame).  Although we’ve previously seen his ass in all its glory, we are happy to share some behind-the-scenes stills of Cena’s modesty on BillyMasters.com.

When the only one with something to hide is John Cena, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  Happily, there’s enough dish to go around on www.BillyMasters.com, the site that has nothing to hide.  I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale this week, but I’m always here to answer your questions.  Write to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before any garment I don protects my modesty!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.