Colton Underwood and hubby Jordan C. Brown have announced that they are expecting their first child.  I guess I should have figured this out when Colton started a podcast called Daddyhood.  Sure, he’d put on a few pounds, but I didn’t think he was actually showing!  Turns out the road to fatherhood has not been smooth.  “Right away, my husband gets his results back for his sperm count and he had incredible, great numbers.  And I got mine back and all my sperm was dead.”  Hold on a minute – is Colton saying that he is filled head to toe with dead, useless sperm?  Rather than be tasteless (so to speak), I’ll simply send my congratulations and move on.

NBCUniversal is still dealing with the lawsuit from former Real Housewife of New York Leah McSweeney.  They have asked the suit to be tossed out of court for being “threadbare”.  “While Plaintiff attempts to overwhelm with a 654-page complaint, even a cursory review of her allegations reveals that many concern matters entirely irrelevant to her claims and most are devoid of any factual or legal support, speculative, misleading, and/or demonstrably false.”  Their conclusions are based on an internal investigation (done by a third party) in which neither McSweeney nor any of the other individuals cited in the complaint were interviewed.  Just due to that reason, McSweeney’s attorneys say they deserve their day in court.  Watch what happens…live.

Our Ask Billy question really gave me an education.  Robbie in Saint Louis writes, “I read that Nick Fuentes was streaming gay porn on his phone.  Is he gay?”

First I had to figure out who Nick Fuentes is.  Apparently he’s a famous Holocaust denier – a group of people I admittedly don’t keep up with.  Last week, visitors to his Twitter/X account found he was streaming gay porn!  Very quickly, Fuentes claimed it was the work of a pro-Israeli group.  “My proprietary livestreaming site was hacked after my stream went offline by someone claiming to be IDF Unit 8200.  The hacker took credit by [watermarking] the porn and leaving messages on the back end.”  Well, if you’re gonna leave a message on gay porn, the back end is a good place to start.  IDF Unit 8200 is a known intelligence unit that specializes in cyber warfare – although they usually claim responsibility for their attacks, and thus far have remained mum on the Fuentes situation.  Someone who hasn’t been silent is disgraced former congressman George Santos.  “For the love of god!  GAYPERS JUST ACCEPT THAT YOUR ZADDY FUENTS IS A HOMO!”

When we’re quoting George Santos twice, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  Looking back to Honest Abe, I must confess I’ve always had an affinity for our beloved 16^th president, but not for any of his positions – legal or otherwise.  It’s because his birthday is February 12^th – the day before mine (to say nothing of a few years earlier).  This statue clearly demonstrates we have much more in common than I thought, as you’ll see on www.BillyMasters.com, the site you can read for less than a penny.  While I continue to frolic the continent, I am always available to answer your questions.  Just drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Sebastian Stan plays me in a biopic!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.