“How do you know what the fuck I am? 
I don’t ever share that part of my life.” 
– Chaka Khan’s response when an interviewer called her a “straight icon”. 
She added, “I am for everybody.  I don’t care what you sleep with at night. 
If your heart is in the right place, that’s all I care about.”

I don’t know anyone who disliked Dolly Parton.  People around the world have paid tribute to her.  Yes, we all heard about the Empire State Building lighting up pink in her honor.  Massachusetts’ largest bridges did the same.  A candlelight vigil took place in the Castro with instructions for people to wear wigs.  Provincetown had dozens show up in pink.  Dolly was a patron saint to the gay community.  She sang the Oscar-nominated song, “Travelin’ Thru” for the film Transamerica.  When asked specifically about gay and trans rights, she said she loved all people.  And she had no time for Christians who condemned her for supporting our community.  “If people want to pass judgment, they’re already sinning.  I try to love everybody.”

From advocating for the rights of all people to literacy to helping fund the Covid vaccine, Dolly was always giving.  Even those who didn’t agree with her views mourned her passing.  One of the most vocal is Ricky Schroder, who posted this: “I didnt agree with her advocating for Transgender & Covid Vaccine support…but Loved her anyway.  Thank you for choosing me Dolly to be your Movie Daddy.”  For those who don’t know, Ricky played Dolly’s dad in the film Dolly Parton’s Coat of Many Colors and Dolly Parton’s Christmas of Many Colors.  His casting says something very important about both – Dolly did “love everybody”, while Ricky went against his beliefs for a gig!  His post went viral and many weighed in.  Boy George said, “Oh, shut up,” while Katie Couric simply said: “Ick.”  On a personal note, I was once at an abutting urinal to Ricky Schroder.  While I didn’t sneak a peek, he did seem terribly uncomfortable.  I finished first (as usual) and Ricky’s discomfort was magnified when he exited the restroom to find me chatting with his delightful then-wife, Andrea Bernard.  He pulled her away…quickly.

Parton’s appeal transcended music.  Despite her appearance, she always gave off warmth and authenticity and was brimming with love for all things.  Her physical appearance was not based on a single genuine attribute – but her heart was brimming with genuine love.  And she never forgot where she came from and retained her down-home style.  It’s almost poetic that her final appearance was at a truck stop.  I think that would have tickled her!  I met her a few times, the most notable being at the opening night of the musical version of 9 to 5 at the Ahmanson Theatre in Los Angeles (I was there due to the largess of the wise and powerful publicist, Ken Werther).  Dolly never said no to a fan – so much so that a team of security people had been hired to keep her sequestered.  At one point, Dolly had to walk through the crowd and someone yelled, “Make a hole” – something I’ve heard at more gatherings than I can count.  Suddenly, security surrounded her with a human shield.  Only one problem – I was inside the shield!  Dolly looked at me and said, “You must be pretty special to be in the inner circle.”  I said, “The best circle yet – and I’ve been in my share of circles!”  And we laughed – probably for different reasons.  Rest in peace, Dolly.

On the day Dolly died, a federal judge in Texas brought up her name in ruling on the interpretation of a bill which was passed in 2023.  People like Texas attorney general Ken Paxton have used this bill to restrict drag shows.  Judge David Hittner ruled that the bill restricts free speech and violates the First Amendment.  “Just as many people criticized Elvis’s signature hip gyrations and were offended by his display of male sexuality, [and] chastised Dolly Parton as a voluptuous sex symbol because of her big hair, flamboyant clothes and breast exposure…there are ‘erotic’ elements in countless popular performances that could be subject to both civil and criminal penalties.”  In his ruling, he had some advice.  “For those who find such activities as described in this case offensive, the solution is relatively simple…just don’t go.”  

Later that same day, Tim Curry also died.  Like Dolly, he was also 80.  Someone remarked that two notable drag queens died on the same day.  And it’s true – Curry’s most notable character was in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.  And Dolly often said, “If I weren’t a woman, I’d have been a drag queen”.  Tim was definitely one of a kind and a formidable talent.