Let’s start with the elephant in the room – and trust me when I say it ain’t no elephant.  As we were going to press, “someone” online was making a very big deal about a certain video in which two divers were seen making out.  First – I have the video.  When these things leak, we all get them.  It’s of UK diver Tom Daley kissing US diver Tyler Downs.  Downs is kinda a young Tom Daley – and who thought that was even possible?  Downs is 16 and, in an ironic twist, has stated that his favorite diver is…wait for it….Jack Laugher!!!  Who is Jack Laugher?  Another British diver!  In fact, Laugher won a synchronized diving event with Tom Daley back in 2012!  Oh, diving is an incestuous business – and I say this as a former award-winning diver myself (OK, all I won was my high school letter, but still…).

In the video, Downs and Daley are at an event in a hotel room where they’re both shirtless.  Again, as a former diver, let me tell you that swimmers and divers are far more UNcomfortable when they have to put on clothes.  As to the kiss, it has all the passion of kissing your mum – which, unless you are from certain Southern states, is not very.  Not even a scintilla of spit is shared.  To my expert eyes, the term I’d use is “clenched”.  So, if “someone” feels compelled to pass it along “to the authorities”, I have one thing to say – bitch, please!

However, it has led to renewed speculation about the relationship of Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black.  Is there any evidence that they have an “open relationship”?  None that I’m aware of.  Sure, there was some dallying prior to their marriage.  But if it doesn’t bother them, it doesn’t bother me.  Others have issues with a 25-year-old kissing a 16-year-old.  Hey, what do I know – Tom was 18 years old when he started dating the 38-year-old Dustin Lance Black, and nobody was bothered by that.  You can go to BillyMasters.com and decide for yourself.