Ellen DeGeneres’ Drama

There’s other trouble in daytime.  According to Nielsen (the ratings company – not Brigitte), Ellen has lost roughly one MILLION viewers!  It bears noting that her season premiere back in September was the highest-rated episode in more than four years.  Why?  Because everyone wanted to see how Ellen would address the “toxic workplace” claims.  They came, they saw, they tuned out.  And the ratings plummeted.  Troublesome times. 

Recently, it was Portia DeRossi DeGeneres who was in trouble.  You would already know this story if you were still watching Ellen.  This is how DeGeneres opened her show last Tuesday:  “How was everybody’s weekend?  Anybody else have to rush their wife to the emergency room for an appendectomy?  Anybody?  No?  Just me?”  Yes, just her.  One night, the couple went to bed early.  Ellen awoke to find Portia “on the floor on all fours”.  My first thought was DeRossi was in the mood for a spirited game of leapfrog – because, I must confess, I’m not well-versed in the art of lesbian sex.  Turns out, it was neither sexual nor amphibial.  Ellen drove Portia to the hospital, but couldn’t go in with her due to Covid restrictions.  The next morning, she got a call that they’d have to slice Portia open like a sturgeon.  Bing, bang, boom – appendix out.  See all the excitement you miss when don’t tune in?


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