I did not see The Music Man, but the show made news by initiating standing room tickets for $76.  Yes, that sounds expensive.  Why, in my day, $76 would get you dinner, a show, and a blow job from the understudy.  Times have changed.  Now you’ll have to sneak in some M&M’s, stand, and maybe get a handy from your neighbor!

We hear that The Music Man producers are scrambling to find someone to take over for Hugh Jackman when he inevitably leaves the show.  I was told that Neil Patrick Harris was lobbying hard for the role.  But rumor has it that the powers that be are casting their sights slightly higher – they’d like Justin Timberlake to make his Broadway debut in the role!  It sounds far-fetched to me, and Timberlake’s people are denying the rumors.

Meanwhile at Dear Evan Hansen, the latest recast is making history.  Zachary Noah Piser just took over the titular role and will be the first Asian American to play it full-time (he’s been the alternate Evan since March).  It’s also historic because he may be the first person to play the role who hasn’t slept with Ben Platt!

When anyone is interested in sleeping with Ben Platt, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Yes, this was very theatre-heavy – but I promise you’ll find a whole lot more to look at on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is a feast for the eyes…and other organs.  If you have a question, dash it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Chicago adds a midnight topless show!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.