The one person I don’t expect to see in the courtroom is Cher.  She’s releasing a holiday collection on October 20^th – so she’ll be busy.  The collection features a number of duets, including one with her good friend (and former backup singer) Darlene Love – they’ll sing “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”.  Other partners include Cyndi Lauper, Michael Bublé, Stevie Wonder, and Tyga.  As Cher said, “It’s not your mother’s Christmas album.  It’s a Cher Christmas album, whatever that brings along with the new.  It’s definitely my idea of a Christmas album.  I had to do what I felt.  There’s no ‘Silent Night’.”  We can only hope there’s an “O Holy Night” – for Paul Shaffer.

Not to be outdone, Barbra Streisand will be releasing TWO collections of music on October 27^th.  One is called Evergreens: Celebrating Six Decades on Columbia Records – and it will include Streisand’s favorite songs from her extensive catalogue (in many cases, album cuts instead of singles).  The second will be Yentl: 40^th Anniversary Edition, which is a 2-disc set which includes demos and alternate takes.  These are just the opening acts for Babs’ autobio, which drops on November 7^th.  If I were a betting man, I’d expect absolutely nothing juicy in the book.

Continuing our theme of “singers” (and I am using that term loosely), we turn to Britney Spears.  Look, I’ve never been a Britney basher.  She’s fun, she’s kicky, she’s kooky, she’s krazy.  But unless she’s auditioning to become a chef at Bisuteki, I don’t understand the dance of the seven knives.  OK, there were only two knives – but what do you think the chances are that one of those dogs is no longer with us?  And why in that outfit?  Unless she’s also auditioning for Hooters.  Spears was quick to allay our fears: “I started playing in the kitchen with knives today.  Don’t worry they are NOT real knives !!!  Halloween is soon.”  The question remains – Why?