We’re doomed.  Finished.  Over.  After last week, I believe there is no hope.  I’m not talking about poor Zelenskyy being ambushed.  I’m also not talking about Rep. Al Green – who is also one helluva singer.  No, I’m talking about the execution of Brad Keith Sigmon in South Carolina – by firing squad!  Is it the 1800s?  Are we truly barbarians?  To be fair, Sigmon actually CHOSE to be killed by firing squad – and if that doesn’t scream insanity, then I don’t know what does (his other choices were electrocution and gas chamber).  You know what else is still on the books?  Death by hanging!  Oh, yes – you can be hung in Delaware, New Hampshire, and Washington – although I’ve slept with loads of men in New Hampshire and none were particularly well-hung.

Since we’re talking about death, let me update you on the Gene Hackman situation – although I suspect if you’re interested in this sort of thing, you already know what I’m about to say.  It would appear that Gene had advanced Alzheimer’s along with some coronary issues and died on February 18^th.  However, he seems to have outlived his wife by one week.  She succumbed to Hantavirus, which is spread through rat feces.  It would appear Gene was on a feces-free diet because no rat or any other food was found in his system – although he was not dehydrated.  So I’m to believe Mrs. Hackman died, and Gene continued on alone for a week?  Without food, without wife, but with water and a wailing dog?  And where were those great, attentive kids of his?  Nowhere to be found.

Speaking of wailing dogs, we come to Pamela Bach (I’m not being crass…just give me a moment).  The former Mrs. David Hasselhoff committed suicide – yet not due to her marital choices.  She suffered from crippling arthritis ever since a motorcycle accident with David back in 2003.  She was lying dead in her bedroom for several days with reports of a dog howling.  Happily someone checked in to see what the fuss was about.  The dog survived.