Just before the holidays, Tuc Watkins wrote a lengthy missive on Facebook that began thusly: “I think Modern Family is clever, hilarious, even terrifically subtle at times.  But, for the most part, I have a hard time laughing at the gay guys.  In fact, I kinda cringe.  It feels a little bit like the gay equivalent of ‘blackface’.  It doesn’t feel ‘modern’ at all.”  Methinks someone is forgetting their work on Desperate Housewives.  Yes, Tuc was the half of the gay couple who could “pass” (to use a passé term).  But his spousal-equivalent, played by Kevin Rahm, had his share of stereotypical moments.  It’s probably indelicate to point out that, unlike Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Tuc was not openly gay when he took on this role in 2007.  So nobody was looking to him as a role model.  He was presumed to be gay-for-play (although we knew better).

Jesse Tyler Ferguson responded by saying (in part): “Sorry you feel that way, Tuc.  I know lots of guys who are just like Cam and lots of guys who are just like Mitch.  We can’t be expected to represent every gay person.  We can only represent these two people…I am thrilled with the work that you did on Desperate Housewives.  It opened the door for shows like ours and hopefully we can hold that door open for many more shows to follow us.  At the end of the day we can’t please everyone…and we shouldn’t try to.  Kinda just like life, right?”  Bravo.

The Queen announced her honorees on New Year’s Day.  At long last, Joan Collins made the cut; she must henceforth be refer to as Dame Joan Collins.  And this got me thinking – now that Sir Elton John and David Furnish are legally married in the United Kingdom, shouldn’t David now be referred to as Lady Furnish (or, to be precise, Lady John).  After all, when someone is a Sir, his wife (if she takes his name) is accorded the courtesy title of Lady.  Because the British honours system has not been updated to reflect same-sex marriage, Furnish ends up with nothing.  And yet, someone did go to the trouble to write what I find to be a very strange codicil: if the Prince of Wales (aka a future King of England) were to marry a man, his spouse would NOT get the title Queen or Princess.  Let’s start guessing which prince inspired this bit of legislation.

Rumor has it that Linda Evans (who looks like she’s still wearing the Rejuvenique mask) is joining the cast of Celebrity Big Brother, alongside such luminaries as Jeremy Jackson and Perez Hilton.  Game, set and match to Dame Joan Collins.