Bandaged Bachelor

And now, onto the important stuff – BACHELOR DOWN!  Pilot Peter Weber (the one who did it with Hannah in a windmill…twice) was in the midst of filming The Bachelor in Costa Rica when he tripped carrying some glasses, hit the ground, and smashed his face on the shards.  OUCH!  We hear he required 21 stitches.  Chris Harrison took to social media to allay our fears: “He’s 100% OK and production is already back underway.  He’s still the dashing, handsome pilot we’ve all dreamed of.”  Hey, Chris, are you trying to tell us something?  I mean, if you’re dreaming of Peter, just take him to one of those Fantasy Suites.  Or a windmill.

In one of the most tragic endeavors I’ve ever heard of, get ready for The Bachelor: Live on Stage.  The franchise is hitting the road in an attempt to bring the magic of romance, exotic locales, and sexually transmitted diseases to civilians in the hinterlands.  Hosted by perpetually single contestant Ben Higgins, this live show promises to disclose backstage dish about the franchise and feature cameos by former contestants (schedules permitting).  For the coup de grâce, one hometown Bachelor will be paraded about in hopes of snagging one lucky lady – and possibly give her a present that will last a lifetime.  I suggest taking Valtrex a week before the show, just in case.

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