Snakes in Art and Undies

St. Paul’s Church in Malmö, Sweden commissioned a new piece of art entitled “Paradise”.  Artist Elisabeth Ohlson Wallin did a work 20 years ago inspired by the Last Supper, with Jesus surrounded by the 12 apostles – in drag!  For “Paradise”, she had the Garden of Eden populated with straight couples, gay couples, and even a transgender person in a tree holding the snake!  You’d think “all-inclusive”, right?  Apparently it was too inclusive.  The Swedish Church felt that since the snake represents sin and temptation in religious settings, having the transperson holding it could be interpreted as trans-phobic.  Ohlson says she’s making a new image for the church – “without a snake”.  So now it’s snake-phobic.

Social media had a problem with the snake Jason Derulo had in his tight black boxer briefs.  Derulo explained, “I was not aroused.  I was literally, like, getting out of the water.  I don’t want to say I was shriveled up.  I definitely didn’t have the cold shrivel.”  For those of you interested in what it looks like dry, Jason added, “It leans more to the front.  If it’s on the side, and it’s just chilling on the side, it’s a semi.”  This led to Derulo receiving an offer to do porn – ‘cause, you know, fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, anacondas gotta breathe.  CamSoda offered Derulo $500K to sit around in his boxer briefs and fondle the ferocious fella.  So, basically, the anaconda didn’t even have to come out of hibernation!  Jason turned down the offer, saying “Imma need a wayyy bigger bag than that.”

Maybe Derulo has so much money he doesn’t need to fondle his undies for half a million bucks.  We do know that Lil Nas X is doing just fine.  According to “Forbes”, he’s the first gay man to appear on the list of highest-paid country acts.  Of course, you can see his anaconda on  And, trust me, we didn’t pay him a cent!

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