Jussie and Jason

Nothing good happens after 2AM…on the streets of Chicago…in the winter.  I don’t care how much you have a hankering for a Subway salad (and, really, who has ever had a hankering for a Subway salad).  Learn from Jussie Smollett and stay home.  What a roller coaster the Empire star brought us on.  First he was a victim.  Then he was a colluder.  Then he was a mastermind.  And then, he somehow presented himself as a victim all over again!  The idea that in subfreezing weather, two guys were wandering around Chicago with bleach and a noose never seemed plausible.  And how likely is it that after such a horrific attack, you’d still be holding onto your Subway salad?  Once the men were ID’ed as Nigerian bodybuilding brothers who actually knew Jussie, it was all over.  They even corroborated their story with handwritten plans, notes, and cancelled checks!  Not only wasn’t Jussie a victim, he wasn’t very bright.  Miraculously, the City of Chicago didn’t press charges – they only wanted reimbursement for the investigation.  Jussie refusing to pay simply reinforces how dim he is.  Look for this to continue into 2020.

It’s not just the Kardashians who enjoy a large black penis.  This year, we had two that made news – both singers.  Lil Nas X got tongues wagging when we leaked a video of his “junk”.  It obviously didn’t hurt his career – “Old Town Road” became a huge hit, and Forbes named him one of the highest-paid country artists of the year.  Then came Jason Derulo, who got people all hot and bothered with his sheathed spear being clearly visible in a pair of boxer briefs.  Instagram took it down, but enough people saw it to give him publicity.  He’s still riding it (so to speak) by claiming the powers-that-be at Cats digitally removed his dick from the pic – as if anyone would allow shooting to begin without that monster being strapped down within an inch of his life.  Still, you can unwrap each of these guy’s packages on BillyMasters.com.

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