Welcome To 20/20

“This is 20/20.”  
Cheri Oteri rings in the New Year as Barbara Walters alongside
a stoic Andy Cohen and a giggling Anderson Cooper on CNN.

I’m a lot like Tina Turner.  Now, the obvious question to ask is, “How, Billy, are you like Tina Turner?”  Sometimes I like my life to be nice and easy; but sometimes, I like it to be nice and rough.  I was thinking – what would be a good challenge for this, the dawn of a new decade.  Then it hit me – we’ve got 50 states in this country (more or less), and we’ve got 50 weeks in a year (more or less).  So, why not try and have sex with a guy from a different state each week.  I’ve built in a lot of conditions for this challenge.  First off – none of this has to be done alphabetically.  Also, layover sex in an airport definitely counts.  However, the guy and I don’t need to have sex in the state in question.  But since I’m a stickler for details, IDs should be consulted – even at certain gatherings where clothing is not required.  Come to think of it, on a good night I could cross like a baker’s dozen states off the list if I’m lucid enough to keep track.  Let’s see how this goes – and how often I need to go to urgent care!

Since traditions need to be upheld, my New Year’s Eve was spent with close friends in my native Massachusetts watching the latest Lindsay Wagner film.  Well, to call Christmas on the Range a film is an insult to celluloid everywhere.  But, it gave Wagner the opportunity to wear a variety of ponchos (undoubtedly from her own vast collection) and to act opposite the inestimable talents of Mr. A Martinez.  My companions and I also watched the Catherine the Great miniseries starring Dame Helen Mirren, which obviously paled in comparison..


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