Inside Calvin Harris

Our Ask Billy question comes from Roger in Detroit: “I get a very gay feeling about [celebrity DJ] Calvin Harris.  Maybe it’s ‘cause he’s so hot.  But why did he stop doing underwear ads?  And do you have anything hotter?”

I first became aware of Calvin when billboards started popping up around Los Angeles featuring his torso and his name – an odd way of promoting a DJ.  But we’re in a time when one cannot be a great DJ or painter or aluminum siding installer without having a 6-pack and pecs.  Or maybe that’s just what I look for in someone banging around my home.  With that notoriety came the underwear spread for Armani.  That was around the same time as his liaison with Taylor Swift – such a fine judge of heterosexual men.  Perhaps coincidentally, the Armani campaign ended when Calvin’s relationship with Taylor went kaput.  Still, it made him comfortable enough in his skin to take more candid shots – such as the one on his manager’s birthday when he was just standing there in his fully-packed boxer briefs (he being Harris).  We’ve gotten a peek at what’s inside those briefs and, while most DJs specialize in 12-inches, Calvin’s sporting a good, solid eight inches – hard.  Oh, yes – very hard.  And veiny.  And, lest you question the veracity of the photo, our forensic experts insist that certain moles on that distinctive torso line up perfectly with this photo.  Check it out for yourself on

When nothing comes between me and my Calvin, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  What a long night!  I must confess, I’m exhausted.  But let me quickly remind you to check out, the site that’ll perk you up.  If you have a question, send it along to, and I promise to get back to you before Liza gets out of that chair!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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