Oh no – a bright light is beckoning me.  I fear this is it.  But, wait – a voice just said, “Billy, you’re not finished.”  What does that mean?  “Come back – I will finish you off.”  My God – it’s Aaron Carter!  Why is he reaching out to me?  And what is that goop on his hand?  Is it hand sanitizer?  I sniff it – is this what Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina smells like?  Oh, no…it’s slippery!  And he’s using it on…his OnlyFans website.  That flickering light isn’t the great beyond – it’s a candy striper using his tablet in post-op!  And to think, I came back from the brink of death to see Aaron Carter’s naughty bits!  And he’s charging $125?  You can see him for far less on BillyMasters.com.

Someone else just joined OnlyFans, and he’s certainly getting the blood pumping to my nether regions.  Chad Johnson – the psychopathic stud from The Bachelorette.  Of course, that’s just my opinion – I’m no doctor.  But I’d be happy to play doctor with Chad…although I’d have my finger on the 911 speed dial, just in case.  Like Aaron, you can get a gander at Chad’s Johnson on our website.