Continuing the theatre of the absurd known as the American political system, El Presidente got a rude awakening in Wisconsin.  After spending about $3 million on a recount, he received some shocking results – Joe Biden’s margin of victory was actually wider!  Now, if only someone would launch an investigation into voter fraud at Dancing with the Stars.  Some skullduggery was certainly afoot.

Representative Matt Gaetz – you remember him, the one who revealed he adopted a “son” – gave El Presidente some unsolicited advice.  “President Trump should pardon Flynn, the Thanksgiving turkey, and everyone from himself, to his admin, to Joe Exotic if he has to.”  How very Netflix of him.  And how retro of Gaetz to still be talking Tiger King when everyone else has moved onto the The Great British Bake Off.

With the Trumps soon to be vacating the White House in a scene reminiscent of Pacific Heights, the rehabilitation of their legacy has begun.  We now hear that Melanie really REALLY wanted to bathe the White House in rainbow-colored lights for Pride Month.  Reports from two independent sources indicate that the First Lady’s wishes were hindered by White House Chief of Staff, Mark Meadows – the same person who once swore that gay marriage would lead to a “constitutional crisis”.  Turns out, that crisis was ushered in long after gay marriage, and seems to have coincided with his boss’ “election”.

Allegedly, El Presidente didn’t want to rush Amy Coney Barrett onto the Supreme Court.  That dastardly deed was dictated by Mitch McConnell.  The senator’s former chief of staff Josh Holmes (no relation) related a conversation between the Senate Majority Leader and the President.  “McConnell told him two things.  He said, ‘First, I’m going to put out a statement that says we’re going to fill the vacancy.’  Second, he said, ‘You’ve gotta nominate Amy Coney Barrett.’”  Like we didn’t know who was pulling the strings.