Greetings from Florida – or, as I like to call it, Ground Zero.  I understand that people have pent-up energy from social distancing, but one man found a creative form of companionship.  The headline is what caught my eye – “Florida Man Caught Pleasuring Himself with Produce”.  Police in Tampa were called to a townhouse where a man was found lying outside unconscious after “using a pickle to penetrate his rectum while he was masturbating”.  So many questions.  First up, he was found at 4PM – why, it wasn’t even happy hour!  I also noted that the pickle wasn’t even taken into evidence.  And, what is the man’s religion?  If he’s Jewish, perhaps he used kosher dill!

Only something mighty special (or a few Fireball shots) would get me to enter the belly of the beast.  The mighty special event was the 93^rd birthday of the marvelous Marilyn Maye.  Her sold-out run at the Wick Theatre in Boca Raton was such a success, they had to add shows.  Auntie Marilyn – especially when accompanied by Billy Stritch – never disappoints.  In fact, I think she’s in better voice now than ever.  Mo Rocca was there to capture the event for CBS, and Marilyn was fêted by such luminaries as the Countess Luann, attorney Mark Sendroff, director Richard Jay-Alexander, Randy Roberts and Varla Jean Merman, and oodles of others.  Photos and videos can be found on BillyMasters.com.