Our Ask Billy question made me sit up and take notice.  Reggie in Tulsa writes, “I don’t know if you watch John Oliver, but he showed clips of a foreign kiddie show about a man with a giant penis.  What???”

I don’t watch John Oliver with any regularity, so I missed this segment.  However, my crack research team (some of whom are actually on crack) found the show.  John Dillermand” is indeed a Danish children’s show.  Or a mini-show.  The first season consisted of 13 five-minute episodes.  Apparently “diller” is what the Danes call a penis.  So the show is actually called “John Penisman”.  John is a middle-aged man who is always in a red-and-white full-length bathing costume – like they wore in the 20s.  He has a penis that can extend long enough to tame a lion, or act as a helicopter propeller, or use as a pogo stick.  But sometimes the penis gets itself in trouble – I suppose that’s where the song “My Penis Has a Mind of Its Own” comes from.  The show debuted earlier this year and is geared toward four- to eight-year-old children!  Not only has there not been a single complaint – it’s gone viral.  It has been praised because it shows a penis in a positive light – and when was the last time something like that happened?  I’ll post clips of the unclipped penis on BillyMasters.com.

When a penis can be used for good, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  This got me thinking – it’s high time the Olympics considered adding some sort of penis-centric activity to their Games.  I mean, if you can roll a hula hoop and wave a stick with a string on the end and call that an event, anything is possible.  While I figure out who to call about this, you can take a gander at a plethora of penii at www.BillyMasters.com – the site that is always thinking outside the box.  If you have a question, dash it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before John Dillermand competes in the Olympics as a pole vaulter – with his own pole!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.