Double Digit Danish Dick

Our Ask Billy question made me sit up and take notice.  Reggie in Tulsa writes, “I don’t know if you watch John Oliver, but he showed clips of a foreign kiddie show about a man with a giant penis.  What???”

I don’t watch John Oliver with any regularity, so I missed this segment.  However, my crack research team (some of whom are actually on crack) found the show.  John Dillermand” is indeed a Danish children’s show.  Or a mini-show.  The first season consisted of 13 five-minute episodes.  Apparently “diller” is what the Danes call a penis.  So the show is actually called “John Penisman”.  John is a middle-aged man who is always in a red-and-white full-length bathing costume – like they wore in the 20s.  He has a penis that can extend long enough to tame a lion, or act as a helicopter propeller, or use as a pogo stick.  But sometimes the penis gets itself in trouble – I suppose that’s where the song “My Penis Has a Mind of Its Own” comes from.  The show debuted earlier this year and is geared toward four- to eight-year-old children!  Not only has there not been a single complaint – it’s gone viral.  It has been praised because it shows a penis in a positive light – and when was the last time something like that happened?  I’ll post clips of the unclipped penis on


When a penis can be used for good, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  This got me thinking – it’s high time the Olympics considered adding some sort of penis-centric activity to their Games.  I mean, if you can roll a hula hoop and wave a stick with a string on the end and call that an event, anything is possible.  While I figure out who to call about this, you can take a gander at a plethora of penii at – the site that is always thinking outside the box.  If you have a question, dash it off to, and I promise to get back to you before John Dillermand competes in the Olympics as a pole vaulter – with his own pole!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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