Surprise for Anita

A recent story caught my eye about the Bryant family – as in Anita Bryant.  As you know, Bryant came out against gay people and got a pie in the face in 1977 – to which she good-heartedly quipped, “At least it’s a fruit pie”.  As luck would have it, Anita’s granddaughter happens to be a lesbian – a lesbian about to get married.  Two problems: 1) Anita doesn’t know her granddaughter is getting married, and B) She doesn’t know said granddaughter is a lesbian!  “[Anita] wants a relationship with a person who doesn’t exist because I’m not the person she wants me to be.  I think I probably will eventually just call her and ask if she even wants an invitation, because I genuinely do not know how she would respond.  I don’t know if she would be offended if I didn’t invite her…I just kind of feel bad for her.  And I think as much as she hopes that I will figure things out and come back to God, I kind of hope that she’ll figure things out.”  I’m curious – does anyone know where Anita stands on this issue today?  I would hate to be held to the beliefs I expressed over 50 years ago (when I was two).  After all, when Obama became President, he was opposed to gay marriage.  I say, give Anita a chance to reveal herself.

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When I’m standing up for Anita Bryant, it’s definitely time for me to add a little vodka to my orange juice and end yet another column.  Who knows – maybe her stance could be blamed on spending so much time in the hot Florida sun.  Speaking of which, I’m in Fort Lauderdale this week.  But I’m still updating www.BillyMasters.com – the site that always shines.  If you have a question – or an indecent proposal – send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before Tom Daley pitches his knitted Olympic medal cozy on Shark Tank.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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