And now, we turn to the big story of the week – the truth behind the dwarfs.  And by dwarfs, I mean the seven little men immortalized in Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs – although the story dates back to the 1800s and the Brothers Grimm.  The controversy surrounds Disney’s proposed live-action remake.  Spearheading the controversy is the diminutive Peter Dinklage.  At first, I thought he was lobbying for a role.  Perhaps all seven – it’s amazing what they can do with CGI.  Who else are they gonna cast?  People on TLC shows?  But, no, Dinklage was actually chastising Disney for “still making that fucking backwards story about seven dwarfs living in a cave together.  What the fuck are you doing, man?  Have I done nothing to advance the cause from my soapbox?”  I hate to be a stickler, but in the Disney flick, the dwarfs live in a cottage – not a cave.  And, as to a “soapbox”, exactly how old is Dinklage?

Still, I couldn’t help but wonder – who were these dwarfs?  I always assumed they were brothers, and were working in the mine for some nefarious rich bitch.  So, I took a closer look at the song “Heigh-Ho”.  The first clue comes in the first verse: “We dig…in our mine the whole day through.”  Aha!  So it’s their mine!  And, as it turns out, digging is “what we like to do”.  And it’s profitable – “It ain’t no trick to get rich quick, if you dig dig dig with a shovel or a pick, in a mine!  In a mine!  Where a million diamonds shine.”  So, they’re dripping in diamonds.  But that’s not all.  “A thousand rubies, sometimes more, but we don’t know what we dig ‘em for.”  And you thought Dopey was the only stupid one!  So, let me get this straight – they’ve got their own mine full of diamonds and rubies, and Dinklage is worried they’re being victimized?  To make the situation more ridiculous, a spokesperson from Disney stated, “To avoid reinforcing stereotypes from the original animated film, we are taking a different approach with these seven characters and have been consulting with members of the dwarfism community.”  Oh, really?  The dwarfism community is weighing in?  I can’t wait to hear what they have to say.