Gay Olympians

“You can guess which body part was a little bit frozen when I finished…
it was one of the worst competitions I’ve been in.
 
Finland’s Remi Lindholm after completing the 50km cross-country skiing event at the Olympics
Perhaps his penis wouldn’t be so cold if he hadn’t finished 28th!  Getting indoors didn’t help much. 
“When the body parts started to warm up after the finish, the pain was unbearable.”

So, the Olympics are over.  Ho-hum.  I didn’t watch a thing.  Sure, I enjoy seeing athletes in Lycra as much as the next gay man.  But I don’t want to spend another evening playing “Are those goose bumps or testicles?”  Meanwhile, Celebrity Big Brother is meandering to a lackluster close.  As of this writing, Todrick Hall still has a chance of winning.  Regardless of the outcome, he’s raised his visibility amongst average Americans…assuming anyone other than me was watching.

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Remember when we first heard about Gus Kenworthy?  He had lots of endorsement deals and was featured in commercials as a proud US Olympian – resplendent with red, white and blue.  Now he’s limping to the end of his Olympic career…for England – still sporting red, white and blue.  Sure, he was born in England and is a credit to his sport.  But, I dunno – I find it all just a bit distasteful – not that I’ve tasted him…recently.  One reporter said that Gus “skied the way he wanted.”  Apparently, that included tumbling during the men’s halfpipe finals.  Shortly after that wipeout, he got through his final run on his feet – and then lifted his jacket to show off…no, not some skin…but a skintight gray T-shirt which read, “Openly British” on his left tittie (AKA the good one).  Oh, that Gus – such a scallywag.

Should anyone be keeping track, there were a record 36 openly gay Olympians in Beijing.  Six of those came from the US (not counting Gus) and eight from Canada.  The Canadians included the dashing Eric Radford, who is the first openly gay man to win gold at a Winter Olympics back in 2018.  One must also mention little Jason Brown, twirling his heart out for a personal best.  Timothy LeDuc is apparently the first non-binary Winter Olympian.  Lastly, I would think curling would attract more gays.  But sexy Bruce Mouat is the only gay in that sport – as captain of the British team.  I once had a nasty curling incident, but eventually you learn to unplug it.

 

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