Anne’s Wild Ride

We’ve all seen those movies – those trashy slasher flicks when the killer is carried out on a gurney, covered by a sheet, and then pops up and kills the EMT.  Well, there was a real-life equivalent of this very situation (minus the murder, naturally).  Anne Heche – who was in the remake of Psycho – was driving erratically through Mar Vista, California, shortly after buying a red wig.  She was caught on camera almost mowing down a pedestrian, and then refusing to stop after nicking a garage.  That’s when she turned someone’s house into a McDonald’s drive-thru.  For some inexplicable reason, she pulled into a driveway, plowed through the living room of one Lynne Mishele, and continued about three-quarters of the way through the house – which is impressive when you consider she was driving a Mini Cooper!  Eventually the car stopped and everything was ablaze, while Heche was still in her car – perhaps singing along to a Crosby, Stills and Nash CD.

Police, fire, and rescue officers were called to the scene, while one chopper caught everything on live TV – without anyone realizing the driver was marginally famous.  In a moment of blatant sexism, the reporter wondered aloud if “he” (the driver) was OK – as if a woman couldn’t have possibly caused such a commotion.  After close to an hour, a body was extricated from the passenger side of the car, placed on a gurney, and covered in a sheet.  The reporter described the grim scene when, all of a sudden, up popped Anne Heche, as if to say, “I’m OK!”  It was an unbelievable sight!  Despite this last surge of strength, the brain injuries were too extensive, and she passed away a week later.  Who would have thought her last filmed appearance would be the most compelling of her life?

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Prior to Anne’s death, her most notable ex was ambushed by a “journalist”.  Ellen was asked what she thought of Heche’s condition.  “We’re not in touch with each other, so I wouldn’t know.”  DeGeneres added, “I don’t want anyone to be hurt.”  While she has been criticized for being cool, Ellen was far more sympathetic than a few of my exes would have been (although, for the record, my response would be warmer – ‘cause, you know, I’m a giver).

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