Somehow Prince Harry managed to be everywhere, talk to everyone, and say absolutely nothing.  It’s almost as if he purposely granted interviews to the least competent people.  The Brit, the heiress, the lisper, the comic – the same old stories.  Oh, he is an artful todger – which apparently is a bit shorter than designed (thanks Granny).  I’m rarely bored with penis talk, but I almost wanted to knock myself unconscious with my dog’s bowl!  If he thinks any of these tales are going to mend the rift with his family…well, he should have called the book Delusional.

Thank God we’ve unearthed one story Harry left out of his book.  According to Las Vegas stripper Carrie Royale, she had a less-than-memorable encounter with the Prince back in 2012.  Of course, we all remember Harry’s infamous Vegas trip – which clearly did not stay in Vegas.  According to Carrie, “I was with him for a good 20 minutes with lots of kissing and fumbling.”  Alas, the fumbling didn’t lead anywhere.  But Carrie did hold onto one prize jewel.  No, not the royal jewels.  The royal jewels holster.  She kept a pair of black boxer briefs that she claims Harry was wearing…at least at the beginning of the night.  She previously attempted to auction the undies off last September, but stopped the bidding “out of respect for the Queen”.  She’s now put them back on the block – “to help remind him of his fun side.”  She claims that during the course of the night, Harry danced to Michael Jackson’s “Beat It”.  If he actually “beat it” while wearing the undies, she could make a small fortune on his DNA!

Our Ask Billy question comes from Gary in Tampa: “Have you heard about this nude photo of Pablo Schreiber?  Do you have it?”

I’ll answer Gary’s questions, but first I’m gonna tell a story.  A friend of mine used to work for a man who redecorated his home.  One day, he brought in some snapshots of the finished rooms to show the staff.  In the living room, there was a sliding glass door.  Faintly visible in the reflection of the door was what one person thought was a statue of a nude man.  On closer inspection, it was obviously a reflection of the photographer – who happened to be nude!  Once it was identified to the group, everyone was agog (or aghast, or one of those words that begins with an “a”).  The Pablo Schreiber story is very similar.  The sexy actor (known for Law & Order: SVU, American Gods, and Orange Is the New Black) posted a photo showing his terrace from behind a sliding glass door.  But clearly visible was…WHOOPSIE!  As you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

When I’m not wild about Harry, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column.  As always, we’re willing to show all on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that sports a streak-free shine.  If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Prince Harry reveals his Golden Globes.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.