There was another story that hasn’t gotten nearly enough coverage.  Surely you recall that in the early hours of June 18^th, Justin Timberlake was arrested for drunk driving.  But was he drunk?  He refused a Breathalyzer test (which all good lawyers suggest is a smart move).  Last week in a Sag Harbor courtroom, Timberlake pleaded guilty to “driving while ability impaired” instead of “driving while impaired” – which I supposed is the difference between being tired and being drunk.  He has to do 25-40 hours of community service and make a public safety announcement.  He also paid a $500 fine (add a few more zeros and you get an idea of what he paid his lawyers).  After the hearing (to which he wore a pearl necklace), he said: “I try to hold myself to a very high standard for myself, and this was not that.”  I’d love for some English teacher to tell me how many rules he broke in that statement.  Justin added, “This is a mistake that I made but I’m hoping that whoever’s watching and listening right now can learn from this mistake.  I know that I certainly have.  And like I said – even one drink.  Don’t get behind the wheel of the car.”  Nice sentiment, but you still have to make the PSA!

In a somewhat related story, JC Chasez has been in the news.  No, really – he has!  Stop laughing!  Apparently, he’s teamed up with composer Jimmy Harry and will release an album next month.  Playing With Fire is a 16-track concept album based on Frankenstein!  I said stop laughing!  The press release says it will blend electronic pop and classical music.  The most curious thing about the press release was this tidbit – JC’s legal name is Joshua!

I don’t want to call Sabrina Carpenter a big fat liar – but that’s exactly what I’m going to do.  If you watched the VMAs last week (which I didn’t), you know that Sabrina showed up wearing what she said was Bob Mackie’s vintage gown made for Madonna’s appearance at the 1991 Oscars.  Sabrina said, “Madonna has always been incredibly supportive.  Word got to her that I wanted to do a Madonna look tonight, ‘cause of all the comparisons I get to her.  And she literally sent me her Oscars dress.  It was insane.”  And it sounds insane on so many levels – partially because I’m not entirely convinced Madonna knows who Sabrina Carpenter is!  Then Carpenter’s stylist, Jared Ellner, spilled the beans.  “Madonna still has the custom gown Bob Mackie made for her in her archive, but the other sample piece is the dress I believe we have.”  So, for those of you keeping track, it sounds like he doesn’t believe Madonna went down to FedEx and sent Sabrina a dress!  ‘Cause of all the comparisons, y’know!

Then Britney Spears weighed in.  Britney didn’t watch the VMAs – and that concludes this week’s installment of “Things Britney Spears and I Have in Common”.   Spears made it clear she too has no clue who Sabrina is.  “This Sabrina girl said my name on the red carpet and I thought that was kind of cool…This Sabrina girl…Carpenter!  Thanks!  That’s cool!”  Britney chimed in because Sabrina paid homage to Spears’ onstage kiss with Madonna by kissing an alien – and not the kinda alien that is eating all of the pets in a neighborhood.  In this case, it was an actor wearing a costume made popular in that fantastic FOX special, Alien Autopsy – Fact or Fiction? (and I can answer that for you – it was fiction).  Britney says she saw the clip online and wanted to share her opinion.  “Why is she kissing an alien onstage?  I didn’t understand that part.  Why didn’t she kiss a girl?”  And that concludes this week’s installment of “Things Britney Spears Doesn’t Understand.”