“According to Barbra, I would have no career if it weren’t for her. 
She turned down Barbarella, she turned down Klute,
They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? and Julia. 
Can you see her…oh, never mind.”   
– Jane Fonda shakes her head – probably at the thought of Babs in any
of those Barbarella outfits.  I mean, the boots alone could kill her!

We interrupt this column for a special announcement – Bette Midler wants to make a sequel to one of her classic flicks.  Given the time of year, you’d think I meant Hocus Pocus 3.  And, yes, she does want to do that.  But that’s not what we’re talking about.  Sure, talk of a second First Wives Club surfaces every once in a while.  The Fabulous Four probably put an end to that.  Instead, Midler would like to see where CC Bloom ended up when she got older.  Yes, she wants to make Beaches 2!  Of course, she doesn’t have a script, a director, or a story.  In fact, I don’t believe she even has the rights!  But she told an interviewer, “It would be great if I could revisit that character at this age.  I think it would be marvelous.  And the songs would be great.”  From your lips…

The Broadway League has (once again) reversed a catastrophically bad decision: “In recognition of the passing of several beloved Broadway community members in recent weeks, and in honor of their significant impact on that community, the Committee of Theatre Owners has announced that they will dim the lights of all Broadway theatres in New York in honor of Adrian Bailey, Gavin Creel, and Maggie Smith.”  They add, “In addition, the Committee is reviewing their current dimming policy and procedures.”  Many people have asked me, “What is the big deal?  Flick a switch, dim some lights, move on.”  And that would be great, if it were that simple.  I’m told many unions are involved and the dimming of lights (typically accompanied by some graphic which some techie in high school could probably facilitate in seconds) – ends up costing thousands of dollars.  Can’t someone make an app for that?

This ruling was made in the nick of time.  I’m not saying Liza is near death, but you know…tick tock.  We previously told you that Miss Minnelli is working on her memoirs.  The book will be called Kids, Wait ‘Till You Hear This and is scheduled to be released in the spring of 2026.  As you know, she’s being assisted on this project by her bestie, Michael Feinstein.  “We’ve been joined at the hip for 40 years,” says Liza – a curious statement from someone who has had no fewer than three hip replacements!  I bet having someone joined to your hip makes the replacement a whole lot more complicated.  Liza calls Feinstein “my absolute favorite collaborator.  Michael’s one of the greats, he’s razor-sharp and he tells the truth.  That’s important because, as I fly toward my eighth decade of living, memories differ.”  I bet they do.  Speaking of differing memories, let’s start with Liza thinking she can fly!

With precious few projects on the horizon for women of a certain age, Barbra Streisand is continuing to stroll down memory lane.  Hot on the heels of her best-selling memoir, she’s now opening up even more.  She’s planning to participate in a large-scale documentary which will take advantage of her vast archive of material.  While she is allegedly not controlling the narrative (as if), the producers have said the following: “The production has been granted unprecedented access to Streisand’s personal archives, including hundreds of hours of personal, never-before-seen video, photographs, audio recordings, and personal keepsakes from throughout her acclaimed career.”  That couldn’t have been hard – they just had to go to one of those shops in her basement.