Since I’m freezing my assets off in Boston, here’s a story with hometown roots.  Last week, visitors to the John F. Kennedy Library found a sign crudely taped to the front door which read: “Due to the executive order, the JFK Library will be closed until further notice.”  As a result of President Musk’s firing frenzy, the library was shuttered.  I always thought Presidential Libraries were private institutions (clearly I watched too many episodes of Veep).  Turns out, the Office of Presidential Libraries is under the National Archives and Records Administration.  People were on our local news crying that they couldn’t go to an area that, frankly, isn’t particularly safe after dark (and not so safe during daylight).  Obviously these were not native Bostonians, who by and large never visit the place.  You sure ain’t seeing any Schlossbergs there – although Jack Schlossberg took to social media like he’s working as a ticket taker!  And, that, it turns out, is part of the problem.  When the library re-opened the next day, admission was free.  Why?  The five people who were let go were the only people who knew how to run the ticketing machinery!  Solution?  Free admission!  For now, at least.

Tensions won’t get relieved at Crunch Fitness West Hollywood (although, technically, not within the confines of West Hollywood).  In mid-January, the popular gym posted the following sign: “The steam room in the men’s locker room is temporarily closed.  This is due to inappropriate conduct by members.  Reopening is under review and will be determined the week of January 27^th”.  On January 31^st, there was an updated sign saying the situation was still under review.  The steam room reopened on February 3^rd.  Shortly thereafter, a new sign appeared (apparently someone really likes signs).  “Inappropriate behavior will result in your membership being terminated.  100%.  End of Story.  Full stop.”  On February 17^th, a new sign appeared.  “The steam room is permanently closed.  Please speak to the Front Desk if you have any questions.”  So members who pay loads of money in dues should speak to an inanimate object instead of a person?  Some patrons point out at the same “activity” is happening in the showers, and they haven’t been shuttered.  Well, we can’t have stinky studs walking out all sweaty!