“I mean, he’s…look, the guy’s a pope killer, okay?”
– Bowen Yang tells the ladies of The View his opinion on JD Vance.  Joy Behar was quick
to smooth any ruffled feathers.  “He doesn’t mean it literally – he’s talking spiritually.”  Is he?

“Listen, my children, and you shall hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere.  On the eighteenth of April, in seventy-five; hardly a man is now alive who remembers that famous day and year.”  That’s how Henry Wadsworth Longfellow began his 1860 poem about Paul Revere’s ride.  Today, the only one still alive who remembers that famous ride is Dame Joan Collins!  This ride has always been celebrated in my native hamlet of Medford.  Fun fact – Revere never said “The British are coming”.  After all, everyone was British!  He said, “The Regulars are coming out.”  Even back then, coming out was big news!  In Medford, he alerted Captain Isaac Hall.  During my childhood, Hall’s home was the Gaffey Funeral Parlor.  Someone playing the good Captain would pop out of the second-floor window in a nightcap and ask what all the ruckus was about.  Then he’d invite Revere in for a cup of rum.  Oh, as kids we enjoyed this pageantry…and the rum!  Today, Hall’s house is the Islamic Cultural Center.  On this 250^th anniversary, Hall still popped out the window, put down his prayer rug, faced Mecca, and the tradition continued.

You heard it here first.  Sure, everyone saw the photos of Robert Irwin posing in his skivvies with a python.  But I believe I was the first to get a glimpse of something big.  Lo and behold, he’s been cast on Dancing with the Stars.  Am I the only one envisioning some version of “I’m a Slave 4U” with the snake?  Or, perhaps, whatever song La Toya was singing while a snake was wrapped around her nether regions?  Come to think of it, there may not have actually been a song.  And that video might not have been on MTV.  It might have been the Playboy Channel.

Rosie O’Donnell has expressed shock that Ellen DeGeneres (and Portia) also left the US.  “I’ve never really known Ellen to say anything political in her life, so I was surprised to read that she left because of President Trump.  Like, that shocked me, actually.”  Without getting into her issues with Ellen (and vice versa), Rosie wishes her well.  “I don’t want to fight against another gay woman.  It’s not like we’re tenaciously opposed to each other.  We’re just very different people.  We have had some stuff in the past that was never resolved.  And not in any way as, as partners or lovers or anything like that.  Just as friends and comedians.  But I wish her the best.  I seriously do.”