Coachella Gets Schocked

Once again, everyone is talking about disgraced former Representative Aaron Schock.  Despite all outward appearances, Schock has never once said he’s gay.  In fact, while in office he supported several pieces of anti-gay legislation.  But politics is a complicated business and to have any power, you say what your constituents want to hear.  For instance, I know my fans want to hear me call out Schock for being a closet queen, but I won’t do it – no siree.  There’s always a chance he actually believes what he says.  Plus, there are gays who support Trump and are Republicans – so, what can I say about them?  Not much…unless they’re hot.

But, back to the item at hand.  Schock was photographed at Coachella in a group of five hot shirtless guys who have been described as “A-List Gays”, which sounds like a terrible show.  Two of the buffer bods belonged to openly gay WeHo trainer Keith Anthony and his boyfriend Tyler Tixier.  Does this mean they’re all friends?  Or do hot gay shirtless guys with single-digit body fat somehow find each other like homing pigeons…or bats?  Then a video was leaked which allegedly shows Schock dancing with and kissing another shirtless guy.  And, wait a minute – did Schock’s hands disappear into his partner’s pants?  I think it did.  I don’t know who the other guy is.  To be honest, from the poor lighting and awkward angle, I wouldn’t bet my life on the first guy being Schock.  What I can do is post the video (and the photos) on and you can decide for yourself.

I would hope it’s abundantly clear that I am no expert on Coachella.  The last time I was in Palm Springs was for Carol Channing’s memorial service, and I was one of the youngest people there.  At Coachella, I’d likely be one of the oldest.  You can keep the hip crowd.  I prefer the hip-replacement crowd – they can’t run as fast!

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