Our Ask Billy question is from Josh in Denver.  “I read that American Gods had the most explicit gay sex scene ever.  But I don’t watch it.  Can you show me what the fuss was all about?”

The sex scene in American Gods has been touted by critics as “the hottest and most pornographic gay sex scene ever on mainstream TV”.  Riddle me this – since when is Starz mainstream TV?  I’m not sure I even get Starz.  Once I have to enter four digits on my remote, I give up.  The scene in question is between Omid Abtahi and Mousa Kraish – not really names that roll off the tongue…unless it’s prayer time and you’re facing east.  But it is hot.  Producer Bryan Fuller said, “It was no small feat for two gay Muslim characters to have a beautiful, sophistical, sexual experience.”  While I’m not exactly sure what “sophistical” means, I can certainly confirm that there were no small feet!  See it for yourself on BillyMasters.com.

I also attended the Southland Theatre Artists Goodwill Event – otherwise known as STAGE.  This fundraiser – the world’s longest-running annual HIV/AIDS benefit – took its final bow with a cavalcade of stars from stage, screen, and TV.  The ageless Carole Cook was at the very first STAGE concert.  She’s been in 31 of the 33, but she had a good excuse for the two she missed – she was on Broadway!  It was fitting for her to close the show, easily sounding and appearing a generation or two younger than her 93 years.  She embodied everything that has been right with this event, which has raised tens of millions of dollars over these many years.  Bravo!

Let’s call this a tale of two shows – The Bodyguard and Jersey Boys.  Last week, I saw touring companies of both shows during their stay in Los Angeles.  The Bodyguard is, of course, based on the Whitney Houston film of 1992.  Alas, the stage adaptation is short on dialogue – or plot.  The script seems structured to link together the 20 songs almost solely sung by the phenomenal Deborah Cox (two of the songs are sung by others).  Given the fact that she is virtually carrying the entire musical and doing six shows a week (no matinee Cox), it’s almost understandable that Deborah holds back somewhat.  However, I wouldn’t be overstating things to say that her performance had all the energy of a latter-day Sunny von Bulow.  Even with her abilities in check, one cannot deny that voice.  And certainly she dances better than Whitney.  But her comatosed performance in a show with major structural deficiencies made for a wholly unsatisfying evening.  While the major culprits are the writer and director, I was taken aback watching the musical director, Matthew Smedal, who looked bored stiff.  As they say, the fish stinks from the head.  But I should add two important points.  First, Cox and company let loose for the post-show mini-concert, which was almost worth the price of admission.  Second, practically every performance on the tour has been sold out, and audiences respond enthusiastically.

Then we have Jersey Boys, led by Mark Ballas from Dancing with the Stars.  Unlike The Bodyguard, Jersey Boys is a well-structured, well-written, and well-directed show.  Like The Bodyguard, the brunt of the vocal burden falls on the star – although he has able assistance by the rest of the Four Seasons.  To say Ballas is not much of a singer or actor would be an understatement.  His strain in trying to approximate Frankie Valli‘s unique sound is evident from the first note.  One wondered how he would get through the second act – let alone five shows a week (like Cox, Ballas doesn’t do matinees.  He also has something else to do Saturday nights).  Predictably, Ballas ran into trouble as the show went on – the second act was particularly grating.  Unlike Miss Cox, Ballas works hard – very hard.  He pushes what limited resources he has to extraordinary lengths.  While he is often painful to listen to, one can’t deny that he wants this – and wants it badly.  And, like The Bodyguard, the show is a crowd-pleaser.  And, on opening night, the real Frankie Valli came onstage to congratulate Ballas and company.

So it comes down to this – do you take the exceptionally talented person sleepwalking through an abysmal show?  Or do you opt for the lackluster but likable person who is killing himself to get through a better show?  In this case, I will give it to Jersey Boys by a hair.  But if someone gives Deborah Cox a Red Bull, I’d go back in a second.

So, it’s down to this – I’ve got an Ask Billy question, and I’ve got a nude.  But I only have room for one.  Which one do I tackle?  I think the nude – the question would take too long to answer.  Italian soccer heartthrob Federico Varano took some dick pics which have gone viral.  Viral in that you can see them – not viral as if you’ll catch anything from them!  He’s quite a BIG thing in Italy, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

Don’t call him Fiona!  That’s what Richard Simmons has to say in response to a National Enquirer cover story which proclaimed him embarking on gender reassignment surgery.  Simmons is so pissed off about the story – which came out last June – that he’s suing the publication.  His contention is that the rag chose to accuse him of such a hot-button topic to ensure that he wouldn’t sue – because if he did, it might be construed as being against gender reassignment surgery.  This is kinda like suing for defamation over being called gay – as if being gay is a bad thing.  Wording of the complaint is quite clear: “Mr. Simmons, like every person in this nation, has a legal right to insist that he not be portrayed as someone he is not.  Even the most ardent supporter of sexual autonomy and LGBTQ rights is entitled to be portrayed in a manner that is truthful.”  Pundits have declared that this is the first-ever defamation lawsuit over published reports about sexual transition.  The only other case I can think of is Bruce Jenner – who never sued, for obvious reasons. 

The complaint also describes the mag’s chief source, Mauro Oliveira, as “an individual who has blackmailed, extorted and stalked Mr. Simmons for several years with the intent of destroying the career and reputation of Mr. Simmons.”  Two days after the Enquirer cover story ran, Oliveira allegedly sent Simmons an e-mail saying that if Richard paid him off, he would “go on record to discredit the story and defend Richard Simmons.”  Did you follow that?  Oliveira tries to blackmail Simmons for money.  It doesn’t work.  He tells the Enquirer he has a story.  They pay him for it.  Then he goes back to Simmons asking for more money, at which point he’d tell the Enquirer that the story they paid him for was a lie?  This is not someone I’d consider a credible source!  According to Simmons’ attorneys, they sent the Enquirer the e-mailed offer to recant and deny the story if he got paid – surely thinking they’d issue a retraction.  Nope.  That’s why it’s now going to court.  And I say, good for you, Fiona…er, Richard.

When American Idol limped off the air last year, Ryan Seacrest said, “Goodbye…for now” – a not-too-subtle sign that the show could return in the future.  Who thought “the future” would come so quickly?  While Seacrest has not formally been named host, I hear it was part of his deal to join ABC and co-host with Kelly Ripa in the AM.  Why would Seacrest fly back and forth to LA every week to host a show?  Why not?  As to the judging panel, the ABC brass tried to get the original American Idol, Kelly Clarkson, to sign on.  However, NBC snagged her for The Voice.  Adding insult to injury, Jennifer Hudson will also be a coach on The Voice.  So, what about AI?  I hear Clay‘s name mentioned, but heaven only knows.  While I’ll be glad if some of my pals get their jobs back, I really hope a revamped Idol is worth watching – because it sure wasn’t those last few years.

No time for idle chit-chat.  I’ve got twice as many stories as I have room for in print, so we’re gonna dive right in.  Patti LuPone – the First Lady of Broadway – had some choice words to share when Andy Cohen asked her what she thought of Madonna‘s performance as Evita (actually, a call-in question got the ball rolling).  Patti implied she has never seen the entire film but did see “Buenos Aires” “back when MTV used to show videos” and thought it was “a piece of shit”.  But she didn’t stop there.  “Madonna is a movie killer.  She’s dead behind the eyes.  She couldn’t act her way out of a paper bag.  She should not be on film or on stage.  She’s a wonderful performer for what she does, but she is not an actress.”  How refreshing!  When was the last time someone was asked for an opinion and actually gave one?  None of that politically correct crap we usually get.  Needless to say, this started a holy war on social media with sides being drawn.  Many people felt Patti’s comments were sour grapes over not getting the Evita film.  I disagree – Patti always speaks her mind.  Earlier in the same episode of Watch What Happens Live, Cohen showed guest Christopher Meloni a scene from Law & Order: SVU in which Real Housewife Countess LuAnn had a small role.  They came back from the clip, and the first thing out of LuPone’s mouth was, “Wow, she SURE can’t act!”  Look, Patti calls ’em as she sees ’em.

Remember Ted Casablanca?  For the past few years, my former sister-in-gossip over at E! has had a very successful art gallery in Palm Springs.  A recent exhibition (the operative word) made quite a splash.  Naked and Lush not only featured pieces of art which fit both categories, but also included similarly unclad models to mingle with patrons at the opening (the opening of the show, not of the models).  According to Ted, photos from the bash led to a temporary suspension of his Facebook account (we’ll post the pics on our website).  If you’re interested in checking out his wares in person, you better get there quick.  On July 3rd, the gallery is shutting down for the summer and will relocate for a fall opening.  In the interim, Ted’s getting married (his second) and honeymooning in Croatia and Spain.  How romantic – or as they say in Croatian, “Kako romantično“.

When we last left the tumultuous relationship of Rosie O’Donnell and her adopted daughter, Chelsea had run away from home, hooked up with some older guy she found online who had been charged with heroin possession, was brought home by the cops, had a birthday and became of age, left Rosie again, and tracked down her birth mother who was a former drug addict.  At some point after that, she and Rosie once again reconciled.  I use the past tense because that reconciliation was short-lived.  Chelsea has now gone public with the reasons she ran away from home in the first place.  It’s a complicated story – something about Chelsea getting a tattoo, Rosie finding out because she had spyware on the then-minor’s cell phone, and Rosie chasing Chelsea around the apartment brandishing a wine bottle trying to make the teen take off her clothes so she could see the tattoo.  Rosie says it’s all a lie.

When Chelsea left for the second time, she hooked up with a 31-year-old guy who worked at a Dunkin’ Donuts on Long Island.  And you know what that means?  Free donuts!  You’d think Rosie would be happy, but apparently not.  Turns out Chelsea secretly got married and got pregnant (likely not in that order).  She then had a miscarriage.  After Chelsea gave a tell-all interview to a newspaper, they asked Rosie for a comment: “Chelsea is mentally ill.  Has been in and out of hospitals most of her life.  Born addicted to heroin.  She has had a tough road.  As for her comments, I assume you are paying her, which is why she is selling these tales to you.  She is very sick.  She is not capable of truth or reason.  She has not been in touch with anyone since her husband tried to extort $9000 from this family.”  Chelsea says she had been hospitalized for a variety of issues.  Her husband says, “I wanted to get the best medical care and Rosie refused to pay for it if we didn’t get a divorce.  As much as it killed me, we had to lie to her and convince her we would get a divorce so Rosie would continue to pay for Chelsea’s medical expenses so we could figure out what’s wrong with her.”  As always, Rosie gets the last word: “As a mother, my request is that you not pay her and leave her alone.  It is comforting to know she is still alive, so thank you for that part.”

The path to true love never doth runneth smoothly…or words to that effect.  Sam Stanley was the first British rugby player to come out as gay way back in 2015.  Although he is now retired from the game, he’s still making headlines.  Last week, the announcement of his engagement to his partner of seven years, Laurence Hicks, was met with many snarky comments from people online.  The UK magazine Attitude claims that much of the criticism was based on the couple’s 25+ year age difference.  Stanley’s Instagram post probably didn’t help as he referred to Hicks as “my pretend godfather, uncle, cousin, and many others in order to make sure no one found out about us and that we were a couple.”  Sam also revealed that he’s into older men and found Hicks on SilverDaddies.com.  Aside from the age difference, I was quite surprised when I saw the beach photos of them which I’ll post on on BillyMasters.com.

Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black just got married at Bovey Castle at Dartmoor National Park in Devon, England.  It’s a ceremony some worried wouldn’t happen since Daley was hospitalized two days earlier.  He posted the photo from his hospital bed on social media with the caption, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!”  I guess he was feeling better because, before the ceremony, the 22-year-old diver allegedly proclaimed from the balcony, “Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?” (which makes the 42-year-old auteur Romeo, something I didn’t see coming).  It was a small affair of only 50 close friends and family.  Congrats.

Of course, you know we can’t just leave it at that.  Remember how the couple was on a Friends-like break for seven months?  Well, British model Edward William claims he had an 18-month affair with Tom.  Now, I’m no math wiz, but something there doesn’t add up.  I guess it’s like Bette Midler‘s alter ego Soph says – 22 goes into 42 a hell of a lot more than 42 goes into 22!

In our Ask Billy question this week, Roger in Delaware asked: “What do you know about that hot gay bobsled guy?  Saw his nude photo and love him.  Is he single?”

I am sure Olympian Simon Dunn really wants to be referred to as “that hot gay bobsled guy”.  But I suppose there are worse things to be called.  Dunn is Australian, retired at the ripe old age of 29, and has a penchant for posing in various stages of undress to the delight of his social media followers.  Apparently this is a practice he follows in his private life as well, judging from the photo that leaked.  He addressed the controversy online, expressing embarrassment (although he certainly has nothing to be embarrassed about), and apologizing to his family and friends.  Part of his statement implies he’s single.  “I guess the silver lining is I can just link people to Tumblr next time they ask for such pictures.  And remember boys no matter how hot he is don’t send nudes.”  What?  If hot guys didn’t send nudes, I’d have nothing to share with you on BillyMasters.com.

Whitney’s funeral really pissed off Aretha Franklin.  Aretha was asked to sing at the ceremony, but she skipped it because she was “suffering from swollen feet” and had to rest up for a concert at Radio City Music Hall that night.  What we don’t know is if anyone told Dionne Warwick?  Maybe Aretha thought one of Warwick’s Psychic Friends would mention it.  But at the funeral, Warwick announced, “One that loves her dearly, that we happen to also love dearly.  She is as much family to us as anyone could ever be.  Please, Miss Aretha Franklin.”  People started applauding, and Warwick sat down.  Then she bounced back up.  “Ree’s not here.  But she IS here.  Always.  She loved Whitney as if she were born to her.  She is her godmother and….”  She was then interrupted – probably by someone who knew that Darlene Love was actually Whitney’s godmother.

Why am I rehashing a story that was pretty well hashed when it happened in 2012?  Because Aretha believes that Dionne knew she wasn’t at the funeral and purposely tried to make her look bad.  How do we know this?  Because Aretha sent a three-page fax to the Associated Press.  Yes, a FAX.  Just picture Auntie Ree sitting there, feeding paper into a fax machine with one hand, and hot wings into her mouth with the other!  The first thing she wanted to clear up with the AP was this godmother crap.  “Franklin said she first met Houston when Houston was a child – and she was far too busy to be anyone’s godmother.”  Look, she was BUSY!  As to Dionne, Franklin says, “She blatantly lied on me…fully well knowing what she was doing.”  What stirred this up was when the ladies both found themselves on the red carpet at a screening of Clive Davis: The Soundtrack of Our Lives, also at the Tribeca Film Festival.  According to Franklin, Dionne said, “Give me a hug”.  Franklin replied, “Oh hell no.  You couldn’t be serious.”  When the AP asked if she wanted an apology, Aretha said, “I don’t care about her apology, at this point it isn’t about an apology, it’s about libel.  We’ve never been friends and I don’t think that Dionne has ever liked me.”  In other words, walk on by, bitch.

A documentary about Whitney Houston just opened at the Tribeca Film Festival and asks a poignant question – Whitney: Can I Be Me (it airs on Showtime this summer).   According to reports, the doc implies that Whitney “had a secret love affair with best friend and assistant, Robyn Crawford.”  Not true – it was never a secret!  One of Whitney’s stylists says, “I don’t think she was gay.  I think she was bisexual.”  Bobby Brown agrees.  He said in his autobiography that he believes Whitney was bisexual and that her family kept her from living with “the woman”.  Bobby added, “I really feel that if Robyn was accepted into Whitney’s life, Whitney would still be alive today.”  When asked if Whitney and Robyn’s relationship was sexual, he said, “I know.”  On the other side, there’s Whitney’s mom, Cissy Houston, telling Oprah it absolutely would have bothered her if her daughter were gay.  So what do you do if you’re Whitney?  She married Bobby, and Robyn wasn’t happy.  Allegedly, Houston bought Robyn a new Porsche which was delivered on the day of the wedding – that kept her quiet through the ceremony!  For a few years, all three co-existed somewhat peacefully.  Eventually, Robyn completely backed off.  People say that’s when Whitney’s life went to hell in a handbasket…which sounds mighty uncomfortable.

It was recently the 20th anniversary of Ellen‘s coming out – both as a person and as a character on her sitcom.  As I watched the retrospectives, a thought came to me – why did Ellen come out?  I don’t believe the character was conceived as gay.  It wasn’t a storyline that was planned.  Back then, I remember people saying, “Well, it’s obvious Ellen Morgan is gay – look how she dresses.”  Or, “Ellen DeGeneres can only play gay – did you see Mr. Wrong?”  Aside from the many good things that came from DeGeneres’ coming out, I wonder if part of that legacy is also perpetuating the stereotype that gay actors can only play gay roles.

Not a single week can go by without someone claiming that Ellen and Portia are on the verge of breaking up.  They’ve been on that verge since the moment they met.  I never paid attention to that – until I saw Ellen’s reunion show.  At the end, Portia came out to give her a kiss.  Never was a kiss so uncomfortable, so choreographed, and so unconvincing.  I’m not saying, I’m just saying – keep an eye on them.  And don’t be surprised by anything!

Danny in Maryland has an Ask Billy question which I enjoyed researching: “Do you know anything about the hot male escort Briana is sleeping with on Grace and Frankie?  He’s absolutely incredible!”

His name is Damon Dayoub, and he’s straight.  There – I just lost half my audience.  But I can keep the rest of you on board when I tell you how hot he is, and how he’s not shy about showing off his assets, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

When Lily Tomlin is bringing us dancers and male escorts, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  You can find all that and more on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that’s of no interest to Lily!  The rest of you can send your questions to Billy@BillyMasters.com and promise to get back to you before I tell you what I have in common with Caitlyn!  So, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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Revised: Apr 24, 2017 @ 6:57 am

Now we get into a “she said, ‘she’ said” situation.  I’m sure you’ve all seen Caitlyn Jenner‘s latest interview with Diane Sawyer – which just happened to air four days before the release of Cait’s autobiography.  Because we already told you the good stuff in advance, there weren’t many revelations.  Jenner did say that she’s trying to be a better father, but is not as close to members of the Kardashian Klan as she’d like.  Two days later, Keeping Up with the Kardashians dealt with Kris‘ reaction to the book – and it’s not good.  “Basically, the only nice thing ‘she’ had to say was that I was great socially, at a party one time.  None of it makes sense.  Everything she says is all made up.  Why does everything have to be that Kris is such a bitch and an asshole?”  Kris’ big disagreement with Jenner is whether he (at the time, Cait was a he) told Kris about his issues: “I tell Kris about my gender issues before I make love to her.  This will always be a subject of dispute between us.  She insists that she was taken by surprise by my ultimate transition to Caitlyn, which obviously means in her mind that she did not know enough.”

Personally, I don’t completely believe either one of them.  The only thing I’m certain of is that much of this is staged.  I mean, do you think it’s just chance that Keeping Up (a show Caitlyn is still paid to be on) tackled this topic two days after the Sawyer interview and two days before the book release?  The only thing I’m sure of is that Kris wants her sunglasses back!

Above all else, I’m a Bostonian first.  So, I have followed the Aaron Hernandez murder trial(s) with some interest.  Once he committed suicide, I was perplexed.  He just was acquitted of murder, and his current lawyer was sure he could get an appeal going for the first murder sentence.  This is not when I would expect someone to commit suicide – Scripture passages notwithstanding.  But his death brought forth some revelations which helped make sense of a lot of things.  Apparently the first murder victim (a guy who was dating the sister of Aaron’s fiancé) allegedly knew that Hernandez was bisexual.  That at least gives Aaron a motive for murder – to prevent the rumor from getting out.  Is the story true?  Who knows.  But allegedly Hernandez left three notes – one to his fiancé, one to his daughter, and one to someone described as “his prison boyfriend”.  It has also been alleged that the prison beau is a significant beneficiary in Aaron’s will.  You mean there was money involved?  Shit, I would have been up for a conjugal visit had I known that!

The Bette Midler-led production of Hello, Dolly! finally opened on Broadway.  And, no surprise, the critics were dutifully impressed.  Amidst all the plaudits, there was some disappointment for Bette – the absence of Carol Channing and Jerry Herman.  Of course, if she were keeping up with BillyMasters.com, she would have known weeks ago that these two would be unable to attend.  The composer of Dolly said he hoped to travel from Miami for the opening – perhaps by train since he hates planes.  But his health has been up and down, so he declined.

As for the original Dolly, Channing decided months ago that she wouldn’t be there.  “Dolly is Bette’s, now.  I’m not going to take away from that.”  Altruistic as those sentiments are, she, too, was not well enough for the trip.  Several sources tell me that Carol is under hospice care and has been intubated.  Not so, say her people.  “She’s at home in bed recovering but no means is she on death’s door or connected to anything.  She just had a small fall, but that’s nothing.”  I suspect the truth is somewhere in the middle.  We send our best wishes to Carol and hope, whatever is going on, that she’s not in any pain.

Because of her fall, Carol wasn’t able to attend two local events.  One of them was an award from the Professional Dancers Society on April 23rd at the Beverly Hilton Hotel.  Due to Carol’s indisposition, Lily Tomlin graciously stepped in.  Because when I think of professional dancers, I think of Lily Tomlin.

The second event was Hello, Jerry!, a musical tribute to Jerry Herman which was produced by Michael Childers at the McCallum Theatre in Palm Springs and raised money for Jewish Family Service.  The show, under the direction of Jason Graae, featured many luminaries giving voice to Jerry Herman songs.  Folks like Lucie Arnaz Jr., Faith Prince, Hunter Ryan Herdlicka, Lee Roy Reams, Liz Callaway, David Burnham, Vicki Lewis, Davis Gaines, Gary Beach, Ruta Lee, and the indefatigable Carole Cook!  There were many stars in attendance as well, such as Mimi Hines, Kaye Ballard, Sal Mistretta, and Peter Marshall.  Were it not for the traffic driving to Palm Springs (damn you, Coachella), it would have been a perfect trip.  That mar was made up for by the terrific food courtesy of Lulu California Bistro – the short ribs, in particular, were spectacular.  And the event raised a ton of money.

I got this next story from one of the many employees at BillyMasters.com.  Well, “employee” is probably the wrong term – that would imply money changed hands.  There’s payment, but it’s a more fluid situation.  Let’s just say this story came from one of my more enthusiastic volunteers.  It’s the story of Navy Chief Special Warfare Officer Joseph John Schmidt III.  This 42-year-old is a highly decorated Navy SEAL.  And he’s married.  And he has kids.  And, oh yes, he’s also made at least 29 porn videos over the past seven years under the name Jay Voom.  OK, interest officially piqued.  Turns out, the bulk of his body of work has been with his wife, porn megastar Jewels Jade.  (Sidenote: in straight porn, nobody cares about the men.  The women are the stars, and they call the shots.  Thank you, Gloria Steinem).

Although this story just broke in the mainstream press, it’s old news in the Navy.  Jewels claims that her husband’s activities are well-known among the Naval brass.  In fact, the SEALs invited her to the commandos’ Coronado campus to sign autographs after she was named 2011 Penthouse Pet of the Month.  The issue seems to be that for a SEAL to have a side job, forms must be filled out.  For instance, Schmidt filled out paperwork to sell herbal supplements.  I dunno about you, but I know what’s happened every time I’ve been alone with an Herbalife salesman.  As for Schmidt, it’s unclear if he actually broke any rules.  According to Jewels, she “recruited her husband to help out as an unpaid performer.”  See?  No money changed hands.  There’s an investigation going on, which could jeopardize Schmidt’s retirement plans.  In the interim, no reason you can’t check out his volunteer work/community service on BillyMasters.com.

Bill and Hillary Clinton have a hot nephew who is taking the Internet by storm.  The 22-year-old Tyler Clinton is the son of Bill’s half-brother, Roger Clinton.  A couple years ago, he was arrested after hitting a man over the head with a beer bottle at a bar in Fullerton, California.  The bar is called InCahoots, and it’s a country bar – which, as far as I’m concerned, means you should expect to be hit with at least one beer bottle!  While Tyler looks somewhat worse for wear in his 2015 mug shot, you can see he’s got good bones.  In the more recent photos, he’s wear significantly less clothing – which explains why he signed with IMG Models.  He’s described as 5’11”, 30-inch waist, and a 10.5 shoe.  It bears repeating that I’m in.  Check him out on BillyMasters.com.

Speaking of transsexuals, the big news of the week was Zeke Smith being outed as transsexual on Survivor.  The person who committed the outing was Jeff Varner, who is gay.  As someone who has never watched an episode of Survivor, I can’t believe I actually have something to add to this story.  When Varner was on Survivor the first time, he was not openly gay, but he had quite a strong gay following.  Why?  You may not believe this, but 15 years ago, he was quite a looker.  Back then, I wrote that although my sources told me he was gay, “don’t expect Jeff to come out or lead any Gay Pride parades.”  Days later, Varner wrote me personally.  He particularly liked that I called him “deliciously bitchy”.  He also said, “I would absolutely lead a gay pride parade.  A lot of my friends are gay and I think that would be a trip!!!”  Of course, a few years later, he actually did come out – I’m not sure if he’s done a parade, yet.  In those intervening years, we’ve stayed in casual contact, and I’ve always found him delightful.

But, yes, he did out Zeke – and for someone who was on the other side of an outing situation, he really should have known the pitfalls.  I may not watch Survivor, but I get how the game is played.  If you wanted to prove someone wasn’t being (dare I say) straight with their teammates, making this revelation would be quite a bombshell.  Since the episode aired, Zeke has come out not only unscathed, but actually thriving with the support of the public and without the burden of a secret.  Varner, on the other hand, has been vilified and has reportedly lost his real estate job.  He’s explained his actions, apologized, and seems genuinely contrite.

On April 21st, Caitlyn Jenner will sit down with Diane Sawyer for an interview on 20/20.  This is actually a promotional piece for Cait’s new book, The Secrets of My Life, which comes out four days later.  In it, Caitlyn reveals that s/he has had gender reassignment surgery – and we’re talking about the actual “bottom surgery”.  The reason may surprise you.  “I am tired of tucking the damn thing in all the time.”  Ah, the old tuck and roll.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Justin in Hollywood: “What do you know about that hot gay cop who is on Amazing Race?  Do you have any nudes?  Is he single?”

Seth Tyler is a 37-year-old police officer from Bellevue, Washington.  “I grew up on a small farm in Oregon.  I grew up around cows, horses, livestock, throwing hay into the back of a truck.”  In other words, he probably knows his way around a butter churn!  He’s been a policeman for 11 years and is pretty well-known in the area as the public information officer – meaning he’s the cop you usually see on the TV news.  Of course, he was already comfortable in front of the camera since he previously worked as a fitness model through a Portland agency.  He and his firefighting younger brother applied to Amazing Race two years ago.  While he didn’t make the cut then, he was called in this season to be paired with a stranger.  That ended up being Olive Beauregard, who is also a firefighter.  Seth is six feet tall and, yes, he has a boyfriend.  As to photos of him, we did come across a very cute one of him in lederhosen.  But I’m sure you were looking for something more revealing.  We’ve got those, too, on BillyMasters.com.

A sponsor was recently banned from running a commercial on RuPaul’s Drag Race.  Of course, you know it’s a show about drag queens on an ostensibly gay network.  Strike that – since the show is a hit, it’s moved from Logo to VH1 (only terrible shows can stay on Logo).  The advertiser in question is a lubricant named Boy Butter.  Certainly the name is provocative.  Boy Butter – as in butter for a boy.  Now, in the strictest sense, boys are under 18.  However, if you go on any gay dating app, you’ll find that it is possible to be a boy AND a member of AARP.  Anyway, Boy Butter shot a commercial featuring a topless, muscular model churning butter.  Apparently, the commercial ran without incident in LA, NYC, San Diego, and throughout Canada.  The owner of Boy Butter, Eyal Feldman, explains: “According to Comcast TV in the so-called liberal windy city of Chicago, they did not think viewers could handle the level of gayness in this ad starring sexy ginger, Seth Fornea, who is showing us all how to properly use a butter churn.  One would think that in the Midwest the sight of a butter churn would bring back nostalgic feelings of nearby dairy farms, but alas, if a gay man is churning that butter, not so much.”  Feldman adds, “Take for example the 2015 Carl’s Jr. Super Bowl ad starring Charlotte McKinney, which is basically porn in comparison.  A sexy busty woman being suggestive and showing a lot of skin is fine but if you just replace the woman with a gay man, it is a much different story.”  Something tells me it has less to do with the (alleged) gay man or the churn and more to do with the product name.  Imagine the fracas that would ensue if The Young and the Restless ran a commercial for Girl Gel!  Be that as it may, you can see the commercial on BillyMasters.com.

The Pope recently hosted a visit by Xavier Bettel, the Prime Minister of Luxembourg.  As is customary when meeting a head of state, the Pontiff also invites the spouse (if there is one).  As it turns out, Xavier is the world’s only gay, married leader.  So he went to the Vatican with his husband, Gauthier Destenay.  Xavier later Tweeted, “It was a great pleasure and honour for me and Gauthier to be welcomed by the leader of the Catholic church.  XB”  This story reminded me of another story from last year.  Back then, the Holy See implied that they would not be so happy to welcome a proposed French diplomat to the Vatican who was gay.  That diplomat was not assigned, so the issue was skirted.

In what I suppose is big entertainment news, Barry Manilow is gay.  I always say people must come out at their own pace.  And while this was not news to most of us, many of his diehard Fanilows were convinced otherwise.  They were as sure of that as they were that Liberace simply never found the right girl – HE was the right girl!  Turns out Barry had some real fear that if he admitted he were gay and tied the knot with his manager of the past four decades, some of his female fan base would be upset.  “I thought I would be disappointing them if they knew I was gay.  So I never did anything.”  Well, I’m sure he did some things, but none that were publicized!  He’s been pleasantly surprised by their reaction.  “They were so happy.  The reaction was so beautiful – strangers commenting, ‘Great for you!’  I’m just so grateful for it.”  All’s well that ends well.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Walt in Chicago: “Who is Thom Evans?  I guess he’s some rugby player who posed almost nude for an HIV charity.  But I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so hot.  Do you have more?”

Indeed I do.  You see, this ain’t Thom’s first skin shoot.  He previously posed for the Dieux du Stade calendar where he showed all – alongside his virtually identical brother, Max (also a rugby player).  Yes, dueling hunky brothers frolicking in flagrante!  So, Walt, you hit the jackpot.  You’ll certainly be jacking something when you see the amazingly hot photos on BillyMasters.com.

It’s been eons since I’ve brought you a penis, so I’m going to make up for it with two penii!  The first comes to you courtesy of a new show, What Happens at The Abbey.  You know what happens at this popular WeHo watering hole?  Nothing!  The vast majority of employees are straight.  So are the vast majority of patrons.  I believe Vanderpump‘s place around the corner has more gays per square foot than The Abbey.  We hear that E! told the bar they needed to hire more hot guys.  So the newest staff members were “cast”.  One of the hottest is Billy Reilich, previously known as Nick the Gardener on Ellen.  He’s what The Abbey calls a “VIP server”.  I call him money in the bank – at least with all those explicit nudes I have of him on BillyMasters.com.

Kathy Griffin also made a video parody of the musical Annie.  Grannie stars Kathy as a diaper-wearing oldster.  Lisa Rinna makes an AMAZING Miss Hannigan, and the recently out, recently engaged Colton Haynes is Daddy Warbucks.  The video looks like it was shot on and around the new Casa Griffin (note to Kathy – I haven’t been invited to the new house…yet).  The clip is hysterical, so definitely check it out on BillyMasters.com.

Joan Rivers was chummy with Prince Charles.  So when she could bring a plus one for a weekend at Windsor Castle with Charles and Camilla in 2011, she brought Kathy Griffin.  We knew that part of the story.  But last week, New York Magazine writer Yashar Ali Tweeted: “Kathy Griffin called me and told me the craziest story about being at Windsor Castle with Joan Rivers and Aaron Schock“.  Sure, that got your attention.  You didn’t expect a story about Kathy and Joan to include a mega-hot, allegedly closeted, disgraced ex-Congressman, did you?

Yashar released the story as a string of Twitter posts.  We’ve set the stage – Joan and Kathy are having dinner in Windsor Castle.  Now, we cut to the Twitter posts, which I will slightly edit for flow: “Kathy is placed at dinner next to this gay couple.  Both in tuxes.  One is clean cut and the other is kinda greasy.  The clean cut guy is clearly a fan, chatting her up, asks her all about Cher – total gossip session.  Fun.  Kathy has no idea (keep in mind this is before he became gaymous) that the gay guy she’s seated with is a Congressman.  Finally she asks what do you do for a living?  He says he’s a Congressman from Peoria, IL – Kathy is from Oak Park, IL.  She asks Aaron how he ended up in Windsor Castle and he says that for $25,000 to the Prince’s charity you get this 2 week package.  Where you get to hang out with him and travel all around.  Huh?  Kathy is like this doesn’t pass the smell test – $25K for two weeks?  Even if there were a 2 week package – it wouldn’t be $25K to hang out with the Prince et al  – clearly a weird lie.  She then says ok so obviously you’re for repealing DOMA, same sex marriage etc.  Remember she’s assuming he’s out.   He gets all curt and is like ‘uh no I am not’.  Remember he’s sitting there with his boyfriend talking about Cher etc.  Gimme a break.  She accuses him of being a bad gay!!!!  He gets super annoyed w/ her + doesn’t say ‘I’m not gay’.  It’s more like he was offended by idea that anyone there thought he was gay.  So remember there’s night 2 of the Windsor extravaganza…the next night he totally ignores her, cold shoulder etc.”

“The $25k for 2 weeks – also bs, turns out Aaron was there as the guest of the paying guest — we don’t know who that is.  Cause it wasn’t his boyfriend who paid.  Here’s his date to Windsor Castle [Yashar posted a photo, which we will also post on BillyMasters.com].  Obviously a member of the family, if you know what I’m saying.  One of the things Aaron got charged with was accepting an illegal gift ie the Windsor Castle excursion but here’s what we didn’t know…Kathy Griffin was in the loop (unwittingly) years before the rest of us and the Feds.  Which is peak Kathy Griffin.”  BTW, the entertainment for the soirée was Barry Manilow!  Yashar sums it up like this: “Kathy Griffin, Joan Rivers, Prince Charles, Aaron Schock, Camilla Parker Bowles, and Barry Manilow walk into Windsor Castle…is the start of the gayest joke ever!”

Let me do what nobody else has done and reveal the name of Schock’s Windsor Castle date – Shea Ledford.  I remember Shea’s name being bandied about when the still-Congressman was being investigated for his lavish spending.  Ledford was often described as Schock’s “longtime friend”.  He eventually joined his staff as a “district special assistant” – so perhaps he was assisting Schock in Windsor Castle!  But, here’s a wrinkle in the story – Shea is married…to a woman!  And his wife was also on Schock’s payroll as a receptionist in his office.  The couple is expecting their first child any day now.  Shea clearly learned a thing or two from his former boss.  One of the items on the couple’s baby registry is gourmet ice cream.  ‘Cause if there’s one thing newborns want, it’s ice cream!”.

Hot off his engagement to Beverly Hills florist Jeff Leatham, Colton Haynes has changed his online bio: “Uncle.  Soon to be father.  Traveler.  Actor.  Goof.”  Soon to be father?  How soon?  In an Instagram photo of him swimming, he wrote, “Covering that layer of pregnancy while I can.”

Soccer star Robbie Rogers says he’ll soon marry television producer Greg Berlanti.  The two had a child via surrogate a year ago, and got engaged last New Year’s Eve.  Specifics are sketchy.  “Sometime in December.  We’re not quite sure yet.  We don’t have a venue yet.”  But do they have a florist?

RuPaul recently announced that he married his longtime companion Georges LeBar in January.  It was the 23rd anniversary of when they met – on the dance floor at Limelight in New York in 1994 (ah, Limelight).  Why did they finally tie the knot?  “We were looking into it really for tax breaks and financial reasons.”  How romantic!  If you didn’t know Ru had a partner, you’re not alone.  “He doesn’t care about show business – he couldn’t care less.  Most of the time, he’s on the ranch in Wyoming.  But he doesn’t want me to come there.  God bless you, Wyoming, but it’s very boring, and it’s the most isolated place on Earth.”  With the RuPaul renaissance, there’s another project in the works.  J.J. Abrams is producing a half-hour dramedy based on Ru’s early years in NYC.  The show will focus on the tyke’s rise from club kid to global icon. Many of you still believe that I wanted Proof, starring Katherine Heigl and Laverne Cox, to fail.  Not true – I simply knew it WOULD fail.  Happily, Cox has bounced back with a new TV series.  Interesting enough, her role in The Trustee was not written for a transgender person.  The show is a female police buddy drama and someone thought, “Hmm, why couldn’t one of those cops be transgender?”  Why not indeed.  The show is being produced by Elizabeth Banks and hopes to get on ABC‘s schedule next season.

The first woman Cynthia Nixon ever kissed was her wife!  “I had never dated a woman before or even kissed a woman or anything, and so when we started seeing each other, Christine kept waiting for the other shoe to drop – for me to panic about what this would mean to my career or to myself, as if somehow I just hadn’t noticed that she was a woman.”  There may be a good reason she didn’t notice.  Nixon once said Christine was “like a short man with boobs”.  I know some men who fit that description!

Several outlets reported that a new Sex and the City film was happening.  False.  I recently spoke with someone very close to the project, and found out that nothing is definite.  The only thing everyone agrees on is the plot.  All four ladies like the outline.  A script was ordered.  Sarah Jessica allegedly did not like the first draft, feeling it departed from the tone of the original too much.  And that’s where it stands.  Once SJP sees a script she likes, the other girls have to approve it.  Then all the logistics of scheduling need to be worked out.  So, it’ll be a while.

You all know about Russia’s plan to ban Disney‘s live-action version of Beauty and the Beast because it shows LeFou (played by Josh Gad) dancing with another male character.  Well, Russia backed down.  Instead, the film was slapped with an “adults-only” rating – like it was Last Tango in Paris!  I never thought I’d see the day when an NC-17 rating was given to any Disney film – other than Song of the South!

Hong Kong and Singapore had similar concerns.  But it was the Malaysian censors who demanded the scene be cut because in Malaysia, it’s illegal to engage in any homosexual activity – including dancing, apparently.  “The film has not been and will not be cut for Malaysia,” said Disney.  The Mouse prevailed and the film will debut on March 30th – with a PG-13 rating.  Since the announcement, various non-government organizations have filed complaints with the Malaysian government.  The first came from Abdul Rani Kulup Abdullah, the president of the Pertubuhan Martabat Jalinan Muhibbah.  I’m not exactly sure what he said – I’m not exactly sure I typed his (or the group’s) name right!  But, as I always say, you’re not a success until someone is protesting you.

Remember the days when the release of a new Disney feature was a big deal?  There was such excitement when The Little Mermaid came out in 1989, ushering in a new era of animation.  Then we had to wait two years until Beauty and the Beast.  Sure, we had those lesser films like Oliver & Company and The Rescuers – far be it from me to disparage the work of Eva Gabor.  But anticipation was key.  So why is the company hell-bent on flooding the market with live-action versions of every successful animated feature?  OK, I enjoyed seeing Angelina as Maleficent, but did we need The Jungle Book?  Or Alice in Wonderland?  Now there’s this Beauty and the Beast which neither I nor Angela Lansbury thinks was necessary.  And there’s more in the works.  Call me crazy, but I don’t want to see anyone shooting a live deer for Bambi.  If I want to watch little people dancing and singing, I’ll turn on TLC instead of a new Snow White.  There’s a song-free Mulan in the works, and a casting call for “Middle Eastern types” went out for a new Aladdin (to be directed by Guy Ritchie).  There’s a new Lion King which will, inexplicably, star James Earl Jones again as Mufasa.  Frankly, I think Disney crossed a line with the upcoming live-action Dumbo.  Sure, Colin Farrell isn’t the picture of physical fitness – but he’s no elephant!

Lindsay Lohan is angling to star as the live-action Little Mermaid, and composer Alan Menken has his eye on an ideal villainess.  “I’ve wanted Harvey Fierstein to play Ursula.  I would kill for that!”  He’s not alone.  Fans have deluged Harvey with artist’s renderings of Fierstein in fish regalia.  “Oh, Menken, what have you started?  Ha!!!!”

Who says you can’t go home again?  Actor Trevor Donovan recreated his iconic nude photo shoot from 2004.  How does the 38-year-old stack up against his 25-year-old self?  Well, his ass looks better.  So does his hair.  As to the rest of him, I’ll post the pics on BillyMasters.com and you can decide for yourself.

“I remember going for this one dude…who I basically roughed up quite a bit.
He had make-up on him and everything.  He came backstage.
He was a good sport about it.  A couple comes in afterwards and goes,
‘Do you know who that was?  That’s our favorite gay porn star.’
So this guy was putting on airs.  He’s clearly seen more than I ever have.”
– Darren Criss tells Conan O’Brien about making out with a gay porn star during a performance of
Hedwig and the Angry Inch on Broadway.  Which begs the question – which one?
I’m betting it’s one of Michael Lucas‘ boys – or Lucas himself!

Many of you still believe that I wanted Proof, starring Katherine Heigl and Laverne Cox, to fail.  Not true – I simply knew it WOULD fail.  Happily, Cox has bounced back with a new TV series.  Interesting enough, her role in The Trustee was not written for a transgender person.  The show is a female police buddy drama and someone thought, “Hmm, why couldn’t one of those cops be transgender?”  Why not indeed.  The show is being produced by Elizabeth Banks and hopes to get on ABC‘s schedule next season.

On March 9th, Oklahoma Senator Ralph Shortey was found in a motel room with an underaged male.  Yawn – another married politician found sleeping with a boy.  But this Republican was Trump‘s campaign chair in Oklahoma!  The details may make the situation worse for him, but I find them quite amusing.  Police responded to a “check welfare” call from someone who saw the senator and youth enter a Super 8 motel – oh, the humanity.  When the cops knocked on the door, Shortey said he was alone and refused to let them in.  Once they threatened to enter with a pass key, he opened the door and police found him with a 17-year-old boy, who claimed to have known the senator for a year.  “I used to sell weed to him,” the lad said.

Uncovered texts show the tyke asking Shortey if he could help him make some money for spring break.  The senator said, “I don’t really have any legitimate things I need help with right now.  Would you be interested in ‘sexual’ stuff?”  The boy’s dad says that his son “has a history of soliciting himself on Craigslist for sexual conduct.”  So I guess he’s into “sexual stuff”.  And yet Shortey wasn’t arrested – at least not for a week.  He was eventually charged with three felonies – engaging in child prostitution, transporting a minor for prostitution, and engaging in prostitution within 1,000 feet of a church!  Call me old fashioned, but I think we can drop that last charge if it’s a Catholic church!  Upon his arrest, the State Senate passed a resolution stripping Shortey’s name from all legislation and barring him from using his office or parking spot.  No – not the parking spot!!!

If you’re anything like me (and I believe at least some of you are), you can never have enough Tennessee Williams.  Recently I dashed back to Boston to see Night of the Iguana with Elizabeth Ashley, Amanda Plummer and James Earl Jones.  Last week, it was a play about Tennessee Williams at the Pasadena Playhouse starring Al Pacino, Garrett Clayton and Judith Light.  This new play was billed as a “development production”, but it sure seemed pretty polished, from the star-laden cast to the swanky set to the ticket prices.  Mind you, I’m not complaining – the rare chance to see Al Pacino at work is worth every penny.

The play is a fascinating character study of the final years of Williams’ life told through the eyes of one of his last beaus, playwright Dotson Rader.  Onstage Rader was portrayed by Miles Gaston Villanueva, and if his name is not as familiar as his colleagues’, he was no less talented (or, for that matter, hunky).  Garrett Clayton has been on quite a roll.  He starred in King Cobra (based on gay porn pup Brent Corrigan), he was a lead in Hairspray: Live, and now he’s holding his own opposite Al Pacino.  That he’s holding his own clad in some skimpy undies only gilds the lily.  I must note the breathtaking Andrew Dits, who makes the most of one brief scene.  Judith Light, who never disappoints, tackles a character clearly based on the trustee of Williams’ legacy, Lady Maria St. Just – who has been described as neither a lady, nor a saint, nor just!  Light is one of those rare stage creatures who stalks rather than walks, who intones rather than recites, who becomes rather than acts.  She is never less than riveting.

It would all be for naught without a galvanizing presence at the center, and Pacino (or “Mr. P” as Light calls him) is certainly that.  In a masterful performance that could easily become a caricature, he etches a painfully nuanced portrait of an artist in decline.  He even captures Williams’ almost musical vocal cadence.  The play has some rough edges, but it’s a tantalizing morsel of things to come.  Should anyone want my notes, all they have to do is ask.  For once, I refrained from spouting my unsolicited opinions backstage.

Someone noticeably absent from Barrowman’s birthday bash was Colton Haynes.  But he had a good reason – he got engaged.  Engaged?  Didn’t he just meet this guy?  Actually, he just went public about his beau – they’ve been together for weeks…er, months.  Colton’s florist/boyfriend got Cher to make a video singing their favorite song, “I’ve Got You Babe”, and then he popped the question complete with fireworks.  What could possibly go wrong?

Something which is definitely a choice is whether or not to be a whore.  I don’t say that in a disparaging way.  After all, everybody loves a whore.  If they didn’t, it would be hard to earn the title.  This story is an update on the whore of 2016 (and several previous decades), Logo‘s Prince Charming, Robert Sepulveda.  Brace yourself – he’s single.  I know – who couldn’t see that coming?  “Eric is a super, super sweet guy, but we’re not together and I’m completely, completely single.”  Sounds like an escort ad to me.  But, wait – he’s not done.  “I have lots of production companies that are interested in doing shows with me, so I’m going to focus on that and my pocketbook.”  What a shocking shift in priorities – holding out for cash.  But, riddle me this – who are these numerous production companies looking to hire an aging gay hooker?  ‘Cause I’m willing to put out…for a price.

I ask your indulgence in this next story because, to be honest, I have no idea what I’m talking about.  I had abandoned “American Idol” long before it limped to its final days on the tube.  But I vaguely remember La’Porsha.  What can I say?  I have a penchant for big black women with apostrophes in their names.  I went back in the archives of BillyMasters.com, and read some quotes she made when the so-called “bathroom bill” passed in her native Mississippi.  On the topic of homosexuality, she said, “I am one of the people who doesn’t really agree with that lifestyle.  I wasn’t brought up that way, it wasn’t how I was raised.  But I do have a lot of friends and a lot of people that I love dearly who are gay and homosexual and they’re such sweet, nice people.”  So I find it all the more mind-boggling that now, a scant year later, she’s made what I find a startling statement: “I chose to be heterosexual after being homosexual for 2 years.”  Huh?  Turns out, this revelation is in support of another one of her beliefs.  “You’re wrong to think it’s not a choice for some…because it was for me.”  She has also said, “I chose a belief system that felt TRUE to my spirit.”  She calls it a choice.  Others might call it denial.

John Barrowman was brought up in Chicago, and last week he reached a landmark – he turned 50.  And he celebrated the event in several ways.  First, he chopped off all his hair and revealed his natural silver coloring – which I must say suits him.  Then he launched a T-shirt campaign to support transgender rights and posted a photo wearing the shirt (taken pre-coif).  “Most of us have the luxury of being who we are and living our truth.  We must stand in solidarity with those who are not as lucky.  Grab one of these t-shirts and wear it with pride.  Let’s show our support for our transgender family.”  Proceeds from the campaign will go to the Trans Youth Equality Foundation.  As Johnny suggests, you can grab one at Represent.com/barrowman.

As noble and fulfilling as that endeavor is, what he’ll likely remember from turning 50 is the sight of his Arrow co-star, Stephen Amell, bringing out his birthday cake wearing only a pair of snug camouflage undies!  Since John has frequently expressed his fondness for Amell’s physique, this was certainly the gift that kept on giving.  You can see Barrowman blowing out his candles on BillyMasters.com.

Lastly, we’ve learned several details about the upcoming Dynasty reboot.  Like what?  Well, Steven Carrington still has a fling with Cristal’s relative, Sammy Jo.  But this time around, niece Sammy Jo is called Sam and, oh yes, he’s her nephew!  The show has eschewed the Denver locale and is now set in Atlanta.  Therefore, Blake’s company is no longer Denver Carrington – it’s Carrington Atlantic.  BTW, Blake is being played by that thespian, Grant Show!  So, lemme do some quick calculations.  When the original Dynasty hit the airwaves, John Forsythe was 63 and wooed the much-younger Linda Evans, who was 39.  Shocking.  When they shoot this pilot, Grant Show will be 55 and his Cristal, Nathalie Kelley, is 32.  Actually, that all works out.

As we went to press, we learned that gay porn star Matthew Rush had been arrested in Fort Lauderdale for what some outlets are describing as “assault, battery, culpable negligence”.  However, after reviewing the arrest report from the Broward County Sheriff’s Office, the charges are described as “touch or strike/battery/dating violation”.  When he was released, the official charges filed were First Degree Misdemeanor, which could result in up to one year in jail.  Say what you will about him, but he sure takes a good mug shot!

I’ve made a shocking discovery – ABC uses the same talent pool as gay pride organizations around the country.  If you’ve performed at Gay Pride, you have a good shot at being cast on Dancing with the Stars.  This season, we have not one but two people who have graced Pride festivals around the country.  First is Charo – the irrepressible Latin spitfire who I can only hope wins.  Then there’s Erika Jayne, “singer”, “actress”, and one of the Real Housewives.  It wouldn’t be DWTS if we didn’t have the current Bachelor, Nick Viall – who I bet cuts a dashing figure on the floor.  He also has a bit of an edge – ABC audiences are already used to watching him on Monday nights.  A week after The Bachelor finale airs, Dancing with the Stars kicks off season 24 on March 20th.

“I did pee-pee once on the stage.  Things happen.  It’s live.  The show must go on.
It’s not a decision that I made, it just happened and you keep going” –
Ricky Martin makes a startling revelation to Kelly Ripa – who seems surprisingly unfazed.
Try and remember that the next time you see her all lovey-dovey with her hubby, Mark Consuelos!

Didya know that Ricky Martin met his fiancé on Instagram?  We hasten to say that Ricky was not cruising online.  No, he wouldn’t do something so base and common.  He claims to have stumbled upon a piece of Jwan Yosef‘s art.  Then he checked out Jwan himself and liked what he saw.  They chatted online for six months before it turned into a romance.  The moral of this story?  Write to Billy@BillyMasters.com and wait a few months.  Who knows what’ll happen!

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve already heard about Feud, Ryan Murphy‘s six-part series about Bette Davis and Joan Crawford making Whatever Happened to Baby Jane.  The series is based in part on the book The Divine Feud by Shaun Considine and a script called Best Actress written by Michael Zam and Jaffe Cohen, best known for his work as one of the Funny Gay Males comedy troupe.  The original script was written about a decade ago and was optioned by a few people – including Ryan Murphy, who at one time hoped to make it into a film.  One actress heavily campaigned for a part.  And that actress is – drum roll please – Faye Dunaway!  Yes, 25 years after she played Crawford in Mommie Dearest, Dunaway wanted to reprise the role.  The obvious question is why?  After all, she regularly credits Mommie for ruining her film career.  And that’s why she wanted to tackle the role again – to prove that the problem wasn’t her skills as an actress.  No, it was the fault of the script, the director, the editors, the producers, and possibly the craft service people.  The fact that nobody seriously considered her is all the more tragic, because I bet she would have been AMAZING.

I was at the American Repertory Theater in Cambridge last week.  When my female companion and I went downstairs for a pre-show pee, we saw two bathrooms with no signage.  As we tried to figure it out, one snooty broad sporting a 5 o’clock shadow said, “This is Cambridge – we don’t believe in labels!”  Why was I there?  Because there are a handful of people I would fly anywhere in the world to see.  One of those people is Elizabeth Ashley.  It almost doesn’t matter what the play is, what the role is, what the theatre is, or if anyone else is in the audience.  Because, frankly, when you are faced with Elizabeth Ashley, nobody else exists.  And when the play is by Tennessee Williams, it’s hand-in-glove time.  When the ART announced it would mount Williams’ Night of the Iguana, I was intrigued.  When it cast Bill Heck, Dana Delany, Amanda Plummer, James Earl Jones, and Elizabeth Ashley, I booked my flight.

What Williams does brilliantly is bring disparate, desperate people together in a claustrophobic-yet-airy environment.  Then he turns on the heat and lets them sizzle.  Director Michael Wilson makes two things perfectly clear – he trusts the text, and he trusts his actors.  It’s an evocative but uncluttered production with direction which underscores the dialogue but never glosses over it.  Some of the performances are better than others, but there’s nary a clunker in the bunch.  Still, it’s Ashley who wakes things up.  She enters like a Texas tornado and raises the stakes considerably.  Whenever you’re bored, watch her eat dinner in the background – you can almost taste the iguana!  The play runs through Marcy 18th, so grab one of the remaining tickets at AmericanRepertoryTheater.org.

Speaking of Caitlyn, she just came out against her boyfriend, Donald Trump.  She took umbrage at the dropping of federal protection for transgender students to use the bathroom of their gender identification in public schools.  The feds claim that those matters should be decided by the states.  But Cait still has hope.  “And you can still fix it.  You made a promise to protect the LGBTQ community.  Call me.”  And then she gave Donald a little wink.

I’m not going to get political with you.  But I do want to take a moment and explain what happens when you take a civil liberty and put it in the hands of states – slavery.  If somehow states could decide whether to allow slavery or not, Oprah would be running a network from a plantation – wearing shackles.  You might like to think that nobody in their right mind would vote to bring back slavery.  But you’d be wrong.  That’s why civil liberties are determined on a national level – so that an old black woman who wants to sit anywhere on a bus in one state doesn’t have to sit in the back in another; so that people of different races or even sexes won’t be considered married in one state and living in sin in another; and so that someone who wants to pee in the bathroom of the gender they identify with in one state won’t get arrested for indecent exposure in another.  It’s that simple.