We never get tired of talking about sexy Representative Aaron Schock – and showing photos of him and his fantastic physique.  While we clearly cannot claim him amongst our ranks (and really, who’d want to?), he continues to add fuel to the fire.  The latest whiff of scandal came when it was learned that he brought one Jonathon Link with him on an official trip to India, paid for by private donations.  Who is Link?  Aside from a hot guy with more than a touch of peroxide in his hair, his official title was “photographer and videographer”.  It was then discovered that Link is paid an annual salary by Schock and is his full time “personal photographer”.  Oh, is that what they’re calling it these days?

Meanwhile on Univision, openly gay style reporter Rodner Figueroa made what would be a faux pas in any language: “You all know that Michelle Obama looks like she’s from the movie Planet of the Apes!”  And E! got into a tizzy over Giuliana and Zendaya!!  Needless to say, the White House didn’t find this amusing.  Within hours, Mr. Figueroa was fired and issued a statement: “I am embarrassed, I ask forgiveness, because there is no excuse for a professional like me to make comments like this that can be misinterpreted as offensive and racist during such a volatile time in our country.”  What exactly was misconstrued?  It seems clear to me that he said Michelle looked like an ape.  Unless he meant she looked like Charlton Heston, which is even worse!

Of course, the big breakup this week was between Kathy Griffin and E! In a move that surprised nobody, Griffin announced that she is quitting Fashion Police. But who really dumped who? That’s the question people should be asking. The one thing everyone can agree on is that it wasn’t a good fit from the beginning. There was no chemistry and ratings for the show have been down all season. Allegedly, Kathy and the producers were often at odds, with the funny lady threatening to quit several times before she actually left. But insiders at the network tell me that the brass was getting ready to kick Kathy to the curb (in an alliteration I know she’ll enjoy). The latest squabble started when someone pitched a new segment called “Whore Score” – where the hosts would rate dresses based on their whore-o-licious level. Kathy felt that was not only too mean, but stupid. “Name calling and alliteration with no comedic context is simply the lowest hanging fruit”. Hey, I resemble that remark!

Life has a funny way of putting things into perspective. Last weekend I was down in South Florida attending the Winter Party, an annual fundraiser for the LGTBQ Task Force. While going through my extensive wardrobe, I was bemoaning the fact that I did not lose the 10 pounds of weight gained while recuperating from surgery (and indulging in my holiday addiction of peppermint bark). In the midst of my pity party, I got a call telling me that my friend Dirk Shafer had passed away. Talk about a reality check! Dirk – who looked better in and out of clothes than most people who have ever walked the planet – was dead. I suppose I’m a terrible gossip columnist. My first thought was not to share a scoop with my readers; it was to mourn a friend. The next day, a sanitized account of his passing hit the web. While there’s more to the story, that’s ultimately unimportant. He was a man who had success in his field, was blessed with beauty inside and out, and yet he faced the same issues, insecurities, and demons we all do. Rest in peace, my dear friend.

Are any of you fans of Hugh Jackman? Ah, I can hear your enthusiastic squeals through the space-time continuum. How would you like Hugh Jackman to be answering your phone? Perhaps in the nude? While I can’t promise you that last bit, Jackman is offering his oral services (such as they are) to the highest bidder at the annual League of Professional Theatre Women auction. While he is only obliged to record your outgoing message, what happens once he has your number is up to you. Bidding will close on March 17th, so check out on TheatreWomen.org.

One of my guilty pleasures is Empire. While people are comparing this show with nighttime soaps of yesteryear like Dynasty, it’s clearly Shakespearean – borrowing more than just a bit from King Lear, with hints of The Merchant of Venice thrown in. While everyone in the cast pulls their weight, the delicious Taraji P. Henson gets the lion’s share of attention…and with good reason! She’s simply sublime. But didya know that the role of Cookie could have gone in a whole different direction? According to Mo’Nique, she was offered the part first. “Mr. Daniels offered me the part of Cookie, and I have the emails and the sides to go along with it.” She claims to have been waiting for information on where the screen test was supposed to be, but no details were forthcoming. However, the executive producer and co-creator of the show Tweeted, “Monique is so talented she’d be great in almost anything. But Cookie was always @TheRealTaraji”. I’m sure it was simply one big misunderstanding. Maybe someone simply offered Mo’Nique a cookie!

I had reservations when HBO‘s Looking started. While I still think it’s somewhat plodding and cringe-worthy, the winning cast has kept me engaged – and that includes sexy Russell Tovey. But in a recent interview, the openly gay actor earned some ire after making the following comment: “I feel like I could have been really effeminate, if I hadn’t gone to the school I went to. Where I felt like I had to toughen up. If I’d have been able to relax, prance around, sing in the street, I might be a different person now. I thank my dad for that, for not allowing me to go down that path. Because it’s probably given me the unique quality that people think I have.” The interviewer prefaces Russell’s quote with this observation: “Tovey thinks carefully about what he’s going to say next. If I had to guess, watching him fidget, I’d say he’s weighing up whether to be honest at the risk of causing offence, or whether to divert and say something bland. He chooses to risk offence.”

And offend he did. His depiction of gay stereotypes has not gone down well with some, including a few notable gays. Christopher Rice wrote: “Dear Effeminate Gay Men. Don’t listen to Russell Tovey. I love you…sometimes too long and too hard but nobody’s perfect.” Dan Savage wrote, “I’ve always been into tapdancing freaks who sing in the street and prance when they feel like prancing.” Tovey himself took to Twitter to apologize: “I surrender. You got me. I’m sat baffled and saddened that a misfired inarticulate quote of mine has branded me worst gay ever. If you feel I have personally let you down, I’m sorry, that was never my intention. I’m proud to be who I am and proud for others. We’re in this together. I want you to know whatever you think I meant, I didn’t. I’m gonna ride this out, and one day we will all look back on this moment with a half smile of fascination and amusement. Until that day, I’m gonna carry on being me.”

Our Ask Billy question has someone turning the tables on me. Rick in Virginia writes, “I was going through your old columns on BillyMasters.com and I saw you talking about Ryan Daharsh when he appeared in DNA magazine in 2007. You said he’s probably not gay, but you’d still like to see him nude. I don’t know if he’s gay, but he does gay porn so you can see him nude.”

I remember Ryan Daharsh with ENORMOUS fondness. When he launched as a model, he was touted as the living and breathing embodiment of Michelangelo‘s David – not a bad comparison. Sure, he’s done some nude modeling, who hasn’t? Digging deeper, I came into possession of a handful of close-up penis shots in various stages of, well, shooting. I suppose they could be legit. Then I got a jerk-off video that seems to be real – you see both a penis and a face (what a novelty that is). So, it seems that he is doing some kind of porn. You can check out his body of work on BillyMasters.com.

Now, onto the wardrobe malfunction heard ’round the world – Madonna flying backwards and landing on her ass.  At the Brit Awards, Madonna was singing “Living For Love”, which started with her standing backwards on the top of a staircase in a very long Armani cape.  She was supposed to untie the cape, the dancers were supposed to pull it away, and she would be revealed in….well, some kind of bullfighters outfit.   But in a moment that was either unfortunate or hilarious (depending on your perspective), the timing was off.  While initially the dancers were blamed for pulling the cape too soon, that isn’t what happened.  I’m told from people who were in the rehearsal room, Madonna was very clear about what she wanted and kept screaming, “Pull the cape harder and faster – I want it to be a dramatic moment!”  Well, it certainly was that!  She later blamed the people who dressed her: “Everyone was worried my cape would slide off, so they tied it really tight around my neck.  I got to the top of the stairs and I pulled the silky string, and it wouldn’t come undone.  I had two choices: I could either be strangled or fall.  And I chose to fall.”  Leave it to Madge to once again make the wrong choice.

For those of you not keeping track (or who simply don’t care) it’s been widely reported that Kelly Osbourne quit E!‘s Fashion Police because Giuliana Rancic said that Zendaya looked like she smelled of patchouli oil and weed because of her dreadlocks.  First, the “joke” – Giuliana didn’t come up with it; it was scripted for her by the writers.  Did anyone think to ask what the hell Zendaya was doing at the Oscars anyway?  But that’s all beside the point. I can tell you exclusively that Kelly only returned to Fashion Police this season because she was contractually obligated to.  I hear that when Kathy Griffin got the gig, she wanted a clean slate and new people.  E! was obliged to use Kelly and Giuliana, but both knew that they weren’t really welcomed.  Adding insult to injury, the raise Kelly was promised didn’t happen, allegedly due to the money E! was spending on Kathy.  Osbourne let it be known that she was thinking of quitting, and E! let her know that she was more than welcomed to – but she couldn’t do any other television for the length of her contract.  It was all very ugly.  The one person who stood up for Kelly was Melissa Rivers.  As executive producer, Missy fought for Kelly to stay – primarily because Joan Rivers looked to Kelly as a protégé (kinda like the daughter she never had).  She cajoled Kelly to make the best of it.  But from the beginning, the chemistry wasn’t there – on camera or off.  Even worse, the ratings were down roughly 25 percent from last year.  So this whole Zendaya thing is all just a convenient excuse for Kelly to leave.

And now, for a serious topic – herpes is being spread to infants in NYC through ritualistic circumcisions.  There is a sect of ultraconservative Jews who practice the ancient ritual of “metzitzah b’peh”, which specifies that the mohel sucks the baby’s penis after circumcision to cleanse the wound.  Look, I’m not making this up.  Apparently there’s a mohel out there with herpes.  Since 2000, there have been 13 known cases of herpes transmitted through this practice, which have resulted in two infant deaths and two other babies having brain damage.  So whatever you do, don’t let anyone with a knife and a yarmulke suck you off.  You’ve been warned.

Many of you have written in asking if I have the nude photos of Calvin Harris.  The rest of you are asking, who the fuck is Calvin Harris?  He’s a DJ/singer/producer/model…because these days, if you can’t add “/model” to your title, forget it.  A website recently claimed that nude photos and a video of Calvin are being peddled to the highest bidder.  Harris immediately lawyered up and threatened to sue anyone who published such filth (which, as you know, is our birth name).  Several less-than-reputable sites have sunk so low as to take Harris’ Armani underwear photo shoot, blur out the undies, and say they are showing you censored versions of the nude photos.  So let me tell you: they are all lying.  And I’ll prove it by posting the delicious Armani shots on BillyMasters.com.  The real nude photos are candids of Harris with various women; they are not professionally photographed shots.  And in case anyone is wondering, we’ll share ’em with you should they fall into our enormous hands.

Someone who has no problem showing off is singer Ashley Parker Angel, currently touring the country in Wicked.  And why not?  He looks more gorgeous than ever, as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

Best speech of the night – Graham Moore, who wrote The Imitation Game.  He started with a laugh by thanking Oprah, who presented the award.  He then brought it home by comparing his struggles and suicide attempt at 16 with the struggles and suicide of Alan Turing, the subject of the film.  He spoke directly to everyone out there who is weird, different, and doesn’t fit in.  “Stay weird, stay different, and then when it’s your turn and you are standing on this stage, please pass the same message to the next person who comes along.”  Bravo.  By the way, contrary to what you may think, Graham Moore is not gay.  Double bravo!

How fortuitous that on the eve of new Oscar winners being announced, a former recipient went public with her complaints.  Mo’Nique gave an interview to The Hollywood Reporter claiming that winning the 2010 Best Supporting Actress Oscar wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.  “It should come with more respect, more choices, and more money.  It should and it normally does.  I thought, once you won the award, that’s the top prize – and so you’re supposed to be treated as if you got the top prize.”  Let us not forget – one role (even an Oscar-winning one) does not a career make.  And, if we know anything about Hollywood, it gives you what it wants, not what you think you deserve.  According to sources, Mo’Nique was less than pleasant to work with and uninterested in campaigning for the Oscar (a win would mean more money for the studio).  A few months ago, Lee Daniels called her to say, “Mo’Nique, you’ve been blackballed”.  I was blackballed once…didn’t really care for it.

It’s not every Valentine’s Day one gets to spend with Cheyenne Jackson, but I was lucky to escape Boston and be in Fort Lauderdale when he appeared in concert with Seth Rudetsky at the Parker Playhouse.  Over the years, I’ve seen Cheyenne many times – in Aida, All Shook Up, and Xanadu on Broadway; Altar Boyz off-Broadway; and It’s a Bird….It’s a Plane….It’s Superman in Los Angeles.  Each time, I left frustrated.  Obviously he’s gorgeous.  He has a marvelous singing voice.  One can’t quibble about his acting ability.  But, inexplicably, the sum didn’t equal the parts; he never seemed to have “it”.

But lately, my opinion of him has changed.  He gave a wonderfully nuanced performance in the film The Green.  He showed his comedic chops on 30 Rock.  And, most importantly, he really connected with audiences in concert.  I noticed this last summer during his run at the Provincetown Art House.  Perhaps it was that he was being himself rather than playing a character.  Or perhaps he’s simply grown as an artist over the past decade.  But the difference is extraordinary.  In the past, we’ve run into each other socially but, given my criticism (to say nothing of my endlessly directing people to BillyMasters.com to see his infamous jerk-off video), I suspect I’m not his favorite person.  But never let it be said that Billy Masters doesn’t have balls of steel – perhaps all the firmer due to the wearisome winter in Boston.  After last week’s concert, I found myself being ushered over to Cheyenne and Seth for a photo-op.  Seth greeted me with a kiss, I complimented Cheyenne, shook his hand, and we posed for the photo – with Jackson looking at me quizzically.  Another bullet dodged.

By the way, Cheyenne has a new single out.  “Find The Best of Me” is available on iTunes and the proceeds will be donated to the American Foundation for AIDS Research.  He better be careful or I’m gonna turn into a fan!

Did you see Miss Cicely Tyson on How To Get Away With Murder?  Why don’t they just give her the Emmy now, because you ain’t gonna see anything top that all year.  And the writing?  Wow!  In case you missed it, I’ll share every second of her performance on BillyMasters.com.  It was truly something to behold.

Many of my readers have been waiting with baited breath for 50 Shades of Grey. There’s quite a bit of hoo-ha about the lack of male nudity in the film adaptation of the bestseller. Sure, there could be some shots of Jamie Dornan walking around with his naughty bits jingling and jangling about (a la Michael Fassbender in Shame). But I must admit that nothing takes me out of the moment more than watching a filmed sex scene and catching a glimpse of the male lead’s flaccid penis. So what are the alternatives? I mean, there’s only so many movies that can star Chloë Sevigny! I suppose the producers could ask the actor to get aroused, but I believe that’s against SAG rules. And since sagging is against my rules, I say it’s better to see nothing. Unless, of course, you want to see Jamie Dornan’s flaccid penis, in which case you can see it on this very site.

“The audience, for the most part, is awake because they’re bobbing up and down
all the time. And we sit there, stone-faced, sober judges. But we’re not – at least I wasn’t –
100% sober, because before we went to the State of the Union, we had dinner together.” –
Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg explains why she was dozing off during the
State of the Union address. Apparently, Justice Kennedy brought wine to dinner, and Ruth just couldn’t resist.

It was a banner week for Joan Rivers, as she won her first Grammy Award for the audio version of her best-selling book, Diary of a Mad Diva. Proving once again that comedy skill skips a generation, daughter Melissa said, “My mother would be absolutely thrilled to be here. She loved getting anything. If she thought she could get something at a Waffle House in Secaucus, she would be there. If my mother was here tonight, she would not only be honored and thrilled to win, she would most likely have it copied and on the air on QVC by 11.” Far more impressive is the group Auntie Joan beat out – James Franco, Gloria Gaynor, John Waters, Jimmy Carter, and Elizabeth Warren.

Missy also announced that she’s writing a book. The Book of Joan: Tales of Mirth, Mischief, and Manipulation will be released on May 5th, meaning that it’s either been finished for eons and sitting on a shelf, or it’s a piece of crap. Either way, I’m sure it’ll be the perfect Mother’s Day gift in lieu of a card or a “do-not-resuscitate” order.

This week’s Ask Billy question requires me to use my flair for diplomacy, to say nothing of my notable foreign tongue. Rob in Florida writes, “Have you heard about this hot Latin priest who has done gay porn? I read something about him online but couldn’t find any details or photos. Help!”

Father José Santiago is a priest at the Casa de Oración (House of Prayer) Monte Santa in Puerto Rico. His parishioners discovered that he had a past in gay porn after some of his explicit scenes were posted on a popular website. He previously performed in Kristen Bjorn films under the name Gustavo Arrango (which falls trippingly off the tongue). Believe it or not, I have a connection to this story – your humble scribe nominated Pride: Part 2 for Best Group Sex Scene at the 2010 GayVNs. So at least he’s been in award-winning gay porn – something only a handful of other priests can claim. What I find interesting about this revelation is that it’s really nothing new – when he became a priest, he was open about his past as a male stripper with the group SuperXclusivo. Funny, nobody had a problem with that! Now, some people are demanding that the padre be defrocked (which is not a GayVN category), but he’s not backing down. “In those days I was gay and participated in homosexual activities, but God touched me.” I recall quite a few people touched him, but that’s beside the point. “God transformed me, God gave me a woman who loves me and she loves my past. I haven’t seen any of those films in years. I don’t receive any money for them and it’s part of a life that is over. We have all done things we regret. That part of my life was before I knew God.” As part of his duties, he also gives sermons on the radio and TV. Whether you’re interested in his post- or pre-spiritual life, you can check out his body of work on this website.

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, which means we’re in for six more weeks of winter. But that wasn’t the only way last week was like the movie Groundhog Day. Once again, Rosie O’Donnell is leaving The View. Did I doze off and it’s 2007 again? If so, why can’t I fit into my old jeans? It’s all just a little bit of history repeating.

This time around, Rosie is ostensibly leaving the show for personal reasons. In a statement, O’Donnell’s rep revealed that Rosie and wife Michelle Rounds have been separated since November. Due to the imminent divorce, Rosie feels that her place is at home with her children. But is that the real reason? The couple has been separated for over three months and Rosie has worked the entire time. Rumor has it, this is a good way to bow out of another uncomfortable relationship. Despite what you may have heard, Ro’s departure has nothing to do with any of The View co-hosts. But it may have something to do with how things have been handled behind the scenes – culminating in how ABC attempted to jettison the other Rosie (Perez). We’re told that was last straw for O’Donnell, who pointedly told the brass that they might have to consider replacing BOTH Rosies. According to insiders, O’Donnell’s pressure forced the network to keep Perez on the payroll. Now, THAT’S a friend.

At the time I write this, Bobbi Kristina‘s future is still bleak. Reportedly, Cissy is there, trying to get BK to fight by playing Whitney‘s “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength” – which may have the opposite effect. But there’s another ailing member of the Houston-Brown family. Famed singer (and psychic) Dionne Warwick was hospitalized after falling in the shower. I hate to say it, but perhaps the whole family needs to avoid bathrooms entirely!

One of the biggest stories of the week is 30 years old. In an episode that seems like yesterday to me, the world was shocked when Rock Hudson died of AIDS-related illness in 1985. According to documents that have recently surfaced, we now know that some close friends did not spring to his assistance. In a last-ditch effort to extend his life, Hudson flew to France to begin treatment with an experimental drug. While in transit, he collapsed and could not be admitted to the hospital because he was not a French citizen. Rock’s publicist, Dale Olson, sent a telegram to President and Mrs. Reagan asking them to intervene. “Only one hospital in the world can offer necessary medical treatment to save the life of Rock Hudson or at least alleviate his illness.” Olson felt confident they would help (Hudson and Olson were at a state dinner a year earlier – and seated at the First Lady’s table).

The telegram ended up with Mark Weinberg, an aide to the president. He says, “I knew the Reagans knew Rock Hudson, obviously from their years in Hollywood, and for that reason I decided to call her.” He documented his response: “I spoke with Mrs. Reagan about the attached telegram. She did not feel this was something the White House should get into and agreed to my suggestion that we refer the writer to the US Embassy, Paris. Mrs. Reagan asked, however, that we inform the press of the President’s telephone call to Rock Hudson today, which I did. You might want to keep this on hand just in case it resurfaces.”

Turns out, Hudson saw the doctor later that same day and was soon admitted to the hospital, due to the intervention of a French government official. There were rumors that the First Lady surreptitiously called French President Mitterrand asking for his help, a claim Weinberg doubts. “She would not get involved in those things. I can’t tell you she didn’t, but I cannot imagine it.” As it turned out, all of the negotiating was for naught – Hudson was told that the disease was too advanced. He returned to the United States, where he died a few weeks later.

We go from a story about a gay American asking a government official for help to a story about a government official who sure seems gay. This is not the first time we’ve talked about hunky congressman Aaron Schock. But this time, he’s not showing off his enviable physique or wearing a turquoise belt. He’s in the midst of an investigation regarding his recently redecorated office – because straight politicians are so often the target of decorating scandals. OK, so the suite bears a striking resemblance to the red room in Downton Abbey, but that’s beside the point. The big no-no is that interior decorator Annie Brahler did the work for free. What’s Schock’s defense? He rambled on and on about how he’s not an “old crusty white guy” and that he loves vibrant colors. He ended his diatribe by saying, “When I go take a personal vacation, I don’t sit on the beach. I go do active things. And so, I’m also not going to live in a cave. So when I post an Instagram photo with me with my friends, as Taylor Swift said, ‘haters are gonna hate.'” That may be the gayest defense since the trials of Oscar Wilde.

Many of the e-mails we received this week were about the Super Bowl – and specifically about Rob Gronkowski. So our Ask Billy question comes from Justin in Colorado: “Where did this Gronk guy come from? He’s hot as fuck! I’m sure he’s not gay, but tell me you at least have some nude shots of him.”

Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski is certainly hot. He’s also open to playing with gays in the abstract: “If he’s being a great teammate and he’s a guy on the field doing a great job, well then you’ve got nothing to complain about. He’s another teammate and another friend.” But let’s put this in perspective. This is the same guy who ripped off another guy’s shirt while on a dance floor. And during a spirited game of “Fuck-Marry-Kill”, he said he’d “eff” Tim Tebow to take his virginity. So who knows. But he’s failed my gay litmus test – he’s not quite sure who Betty White is! And, after watching him read erotic prose to Jimmy Kimmel, I’m fairly confident that he’s taken more than a few blows….to the head. As to nude photos, Gronk likes to show off his body – usually with strategically placed balls. You can get your fill elsewhere on this very website.

Remember the hot Broadway boyfriends who were on Survivor last season? Well, they’re engaged. Josh Canfield (the blond) and Reed Kelly (the bottom) were doing a show at the très chic club 54 Below in NYC when Josh popped the question. “Reed had no idea that I had written him a song and that I was going to propose. I also surprised him with his mom flying in for the night.” Thank God Reed said yes!!! You can watch a video of the proposal on www.BillyMasters.com.

Have ya noticed that Mario Cantone has been co-hosting The View more than the official co-hosts? While he hasn’t been formally anointed “permanent guest host”, we hear that he’s the network’s first call when they need to fill a slot. Mario may also be filling a slot on Broadway. Rumor has it, he’s on the short list of potential replacements for when Martin Short leaves the smash hit It’s Only a Play at the end of March. In the meantime, Mario’s minding his own business by baking banana bread for the Stone Street Cafe on 9th Avenue in NYC. He shared his recipe on a segment called Master Baking with Mario. You can find it on ABC.com/theview.

And now, a serious topic – one that has led to many sleepless nights. I’m talking about the great Scottish kilt shortage. And we’re not talking about any ol’ kilts – these are kilts for the army. When Scottish soldiers are in a ceremonial setting, they wear traditional kilts. Due to a snafu in manufacturing, soldiers have been forced to share their kilts. For those of you who know about going “full Scottish”, that is surely a sight to behold! A similar situation occurred in 2006 when there was only one kilt for every 15 soldiers. In a completely unrelated story, Scotland recently legalized gay marriage. Put that in your bagpipes and blow.

In an interview with Graham Norton, Harvey Weinstein talked about the hoops he jumped through to secure the rights to Good Will Hunting. In the first incredible statement, he said, “Everyone in Hollywood wanted Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and the film.” Perhaps I was in a fog at the time, but I don’t remember people caring one way or the other about Matt or Ben. Damon had done precious little work prior to this project….although I do remember Affleck in Mallrats. Weinstein went on to reveal that the duo met with oodles of producers to determine the right partner. When Harv came in, he had one criticism about the script. “About page 60, the two leads (both straight men) have a sex scene. What the hell is that?” Turns out, the boys slipped that in just to see if potential producing partners even read the script. And that, dear readers, is how a project written by two guys who had been uncredited extras in Field of Dreams got their project produced by Miramax.

During an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, David Beckham shared a story about his daughter. “I just bathed her, and I was in the bath as well.” Let’s pause for a moment to wistfully envy David Beckham’s daughter. Moving on: “So I got her out, and was toweling her down, when she said, ‘Daddy, I love you, but I don’t like you. You’re so chubby!” After taking baths with Mrs. Beckham, aka Skeleton Spice, I suppose anyone is chubby.

This week’s Ask Billy question comes from Barry in Atlanta: “I loved the photo of you and the Carver twins – they are so hot on Teen Wolf. But what is this three-way you mentioned? Is that in a movie? A gay three-way?”

Yes indeed. I Am Michael is about Michael Glatze, who worked at XY magazine and founded YGA and was a gay rights activist. Eventually, he became a proponent of conversion therapy and an outspoken ex-gay. James Franco is playing Glatze while the role of his boyfriend is being played by Zachary Quinto. According to sources who saw the flick at Sundance, Franco meets Charlie Carver in a club and hits on him. When Carver asks about his boyfriend, Franco says, “He’d like you, too.” This leads to a very hot sex scene. How hot? We’re told there’s lots of kissing, skin, and, at the very least, asses. How do we know for sure? Because a little birdie leaked us a photo from the scene. Check it out on BillyMasters.com.

Derek may have left DWTS, but we still have Julianne keeping Len company at the judges’ table. And she had a big announcement of her own. FOX will be joining the TV musical craze with a live performance of Grease. And playing Sandy will be Hough (Julianne, not Derek), while Rizzo will be portrayed by Vanessa Hudgens. Since Grease: Live isn’t taking place until January 31, 2016, it continues the longstanding FOX tradition of casting the roles of high school students with people a generation older.

Derek Hough has left Dancing with the Stars. He wants to try something really different: “I am ecstatic that I’ll be able to extend my passion for performing to the Great Stage of Radio City Music Hall in New York Spring Spectacular.” Yes, you read correctly – Hough is going to become a Rockette. He’s certainly got the gams for it.

Last week saw the debut of the long-awaited Whitney Houston biopic. Considering it followed up Lifetime‘s previous biopics on Anna Nicole Smith and Brittany Murphy, I can’t say the results were disastrous. On the positive side, we got to enjoy the stellar vocals of Deborah Cox, doing her best Whitney impersonation (and purposely suppressing her trademark soul). The person getting the brunt of the criticism is Angela Bassett, who was making her directorial debut. Most of the barbs came from the Houston family. Matriarch Cissy all but issued a fatwa on Angela, but Whitney’s daughter Bobbi Kristina went further. You see, BK wasn’t pissed the film was made. Oh, no. She was pissed she wasn’t IN it! Believe it or not, Whitney’s only child wanted to be cast as the lead. Hmmm, let’s look at the reasons why she wasn’t. First, I don’t believe she can act. Second, she would be doing love scenes with the guy playing her dad. And third, she looks nothing like Whitney. Perhaps she would have been more successful if she’d gone after the role of Bobby Brown!

Bobbi Kristina went public with her complaints. While the film was in production, she Tweeted, “Ha MsAng ‘bassketcase’ has such a damn nerve. My lord, at least the world doesn’t mistake me for the wrong sex.. she has #XtraEequipment.” She then added, “When I win my first Grammy or Oscar, *Shrugs* hmm whichever comes1st, I’ll be sure 2shout URname out b-tch! hah UrTestResults = MALE. Lmao.” I’m not sure where to start dissecting this….the grievances, the grammar, or the grandiosity. It is fascinating that LaPrincia‘s sister muses on whether she’ll win a Grammy or an Oscar first while bashing someone who at least has been nominated for an Oscar!

If nothing else, John Travolta is a creature of habit.  At 3AM, Justin Jones thought he’d work out in an empty Planet Fitness in Ocala, Florida when a familiar-looking bald man approached him (coincidentally, I met Kirby in a kinda gym). “Hi, I’m John,” said the hairpiece-free Travolta. He then bombarded the guy with a barrage of questions: are you married, do you have kids, what do you do for fun. Jones later told The Enquirer (in exchange for payment, I’m sure), “I understood what was happening when it was happening – it was in his body language. It didn’t make me uncomfortable, but I noticed it.”

Spoilage or improper storing of highly odoriferous itemsusually result in unpleasant stale odors in a deep freezer . A deep cleaning, even though costing much time, can actually remove all fridge smells if the problem is promptly solved. Looking down upon bad smells only makes the problem worse. The odors finally pierce through plastic interiors and rubber gaskets to invade the walls and insulation of the deep freezer, making them almost unable to remove.
Remove all the food from the fridge and freezer. Check packages for food spoilage or leaks and toss out those that are no longer safe or over expiration date food because they are likely leading to the odor. Place the remaining foodstuff in another location when you clean.
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Odor-Removing Products
Readily available natural products can help reduce smells coming from refrigerators. A mixture of equal parts water and white vinegar makes a fresh deodorizing solution to wipe out the refrigerator’s inside surfaces. The majority of people are aware of baking soda’s odor-absorbing power, but may not realize that fresh coffee grounds left open in a shallow pan at the bottom of the refrigerator or freezer can act as the same effect. Activate charcoal, available in drug stores or pet stores, offers a more deep deodorization. This method needs that you must store your food elsewhere temporarily, due to you must leave the charcoal in pans in an unplugged refrigerator for several days.Refrigerator Deodorizer(bestandfirst Refrigerator Deodorizer)
Steps of deep clean
Slide out any shelves, crispers, and baskets. Soak them thoroughly with hot water and detergent. Then spray with a bleach solution (1 tablespoon unscented, liquid chlorine bleach per gallon of water). Rinse under the fluid water.
Wash totally the interior of the refrigerator and freezer, including the door and gasket, with hot, soapy water. Rinse with sanitizing solution as above.
Leave the door open for at least 15 minutes to allow air circulate.
If odor remains, try other method like belowing:
Fill a plate or shallow bowl with baking soda, activated charcoal, crumpled newspapers or cat litter if the decaying smell remains. Put the plate in the freezer and close the door, turn it on. Run the freezer empty except for the pie plate for at least 24 hours to absorb the rest of the odor. Keep an opened box of baking soda in the deep freezer to absorb any odors. Remember replace it every three to six months.Fridge Deodorizer(Fridge Deodorizer:https://www.bestandfirst.com/fridge-deodorizer/)
To solve odor problems from leaking through the packages, you’d better package food always in freezer-safe storage bags or containers .
Clean the fridge’s condenser coils
Your fridge’s cooling mechanism are less efficient over time, when they become dusty, and can even spread a burning smell. Thankfully, cleaning refrigerator coils is as simple as knowing their location and how to access them. First, unplug the fridge (you might schedule this task to coincide with the deep-clean). If the coils are equipped under your fridge, remove the grille at the front; if they are behind your fridge, roll the fridge away from the wall for easier access. Then, brush away any dust and food particles you find using a coil cleaning brush (available on Amazon for $14.20) and vacuum up all loose dust. Replace the grille or roll the fridge back into place.
Although there are plenty of natural deodorizers, commercial fridge odor absorbers are also very popular on the market. Today, I will introduce the Best Refrigerator Odor Eliminator 2021(Best Refrigerator Odor Eliminator 2021: https://www.bestandfirst.com/best-refrigerator-odor-eliminator-2021/)— EraClean Refrigerator Deodorizer. What you expect from by using one fridge deodorizer? Obviously, it must have ability to last fresh fruits and vegetables for a longer period of time. Then stop and prevent Fridge Odor by disinfecting and purifying the air in the refrigerator. Both are well handled by EraClean refrigerator deodorizer. Not only keep antibacterial(antibacterial:https://www.bestandfirst.com/product-category/antibacterial/), it can kill 99.99% of Staphylococcus aureus, Escherichia coli, Salmonella typhi by using oxidation to destroy the structure of the bacterial membranes. While charcoal or baking soda needs regular replace consumables, it just need charge with USB port. After a full charged, the green light will automatically go out. Charging 1-2 hours by USB cable, using for 30 days, has a super long standby time.Best Refrigerator Deodorizer(Best Refrigerator Deodorizer:https://www.bestandfirst.com/best-refrigerator-deodorizer/)
So here comes the question, where can we buy? I found EraClean refrigerator deodorizer completely by chance. I’d like to discover something latest and hottest with discount, so I often search online for seeking. Best&First is one of the tech lifestyle platforms offers more accurate and more detailed product’s information so that I can choose the best easily. In fact, there is an abundance of innovative brands selling incredible online products, it’s really hard to find them. Best&First integrates these products which go through a series of quality assurance checks to ensure the best quality, and eventually be allowed to sell on the platform. So you don’t need worry about quality of products. It’s just my opinion. Whether buy or not, it depends upon you.

It may be early in 2015, but I can see we’ll be talking about The View all year. Whoopi was out last week due to a back injury, leaving an opening for Mario Cantone – which he filled with aplomb (as opposed to filling it with a plum). Cantone has been the most frequent guest host since Sherri Shepherd, and we know where that led. In addition to Whoopi being out, Rosie Perez is gone all month while she rehearses for Larry David‘s Broadway play Fish In The Dark. But will she return? The showbiz bible, Variety, reported that Perez has been fired and will not be returning to The View. This led Rosie O’Donnell (who relished moderating in Whoopi’s absence) to strongly deny the report, stating that Perez will be back. And here’s what will happen – once Perez opens on Broadway, she’ll return to The View. A week or two later, she’ll announce that doing a show during the day and Broadway at night is too taxing, and she’ll leave amicably – most likely with Barbara Walters digging out that old chestnut, “You’re welcomed back any time.” You may quote me.

Kathy Griffin‘s debut on Fashion Police was a mixed bag. While she was as caustic as ever, her quips were more zingers than actual fashion critiques. What’s more interesting is the gossip behind the scenes. I hear that the numerous personnel changes (both on camera and off) were “strong suggestions” from Griffin before she signed on the dotted line (although I must say that the addition of Brad Goreski was pretty seamless). But some feathers were ruffled when Kathy sequestered herself leading up to the show. She didn’t want to rehearse or even discuss her jokes in advance. “I’m a different human being…I’m more improvisational. I don’t know what I’m going to say, and neither does anyone else on the panel.” This baffled her co-stars, who not only felt out of the loop, but hurt that Griffin eschewed spending any time with them – including skipping a network-arranged dinner so they could get to know each other. Since everyone was in the dark, Giuliana (the de facto host) prepared more jokes than usual…just in case. Because, when I think of comedy, I think of Giuliana Rancic!

Someone who isn’t laughing is executive producer, Melissa Rivers – the person Kathy credits with bringing her onto the show in the first place. “Melissa called me and she said, ‘I know that my mom would have given you and you alone the blessing,’ and that really was it….Melissa was Joan’s world. Everybody knows that.” And yet, we hear that Kathy kept Missy entirely out of the loop and made all of her suggestions directly to the network brass. The result? The ratings were down 26 percent from last year’s post-Globes show.

One of my special keepsakes is a silver key ring from Tiffany given to me from he-who-shall-remain-nameless. At the time, we had a disagreement about boundaries: he felt that even though he gave me his keys, I should still call before I came over; I felt that I could come and go as I please (and go through all of his belongings). I returned the keys. Because acquiescing is the only way to remain in a relationship with me, he gave me back the keys…on the Tiffany key ring. That beau is long gone and all that remains is the key ring…and a restraining order. This stroll down memory lane was prompted by a story about that icon of fine jewelry, Tiffany. For the first time in the company’s 178-year history, they are featuring a same-sex couple in an ad promoting wedding rings. I’m sure any day now Home Depot will run a similar ad promoting a bridal registry.

Our Ask Billy question comes from Kevin in Chicago: “What do you know about Ellen‘s new gardener? He looks kinda familiar to me. You found the nude photos of Nick, so I’m sure you can find something on this guy.”

Ellen‘s temporary gardener is model Derek Yates, who hails from Chattanooga and aspires to act and sing. So, clearly this daytime gig is a step in the right direction. You probably recognize him for a gazillion underwear ads. Diplomatic as he is hot, he claims to not have a real favorite brand. “If it fits well and makes me look good, then I like them, regardless of the brand.” That said, he admits, “I have always wanted to be a Calvin Klein underwear model.” A little padding and that dream might come true. As to if I have any skin shots, he claims there are none to be had. Maybe so, but we did find some pics which should tide you over on BillyMasters.com.

Let’s talk about the controversial bulge Justin Bieber.  It all started with the release of the pop punk’s Calvin Klein underwear ads. Sure, they look good. But some people wondered if perhaps the boy in the buff looked a bit too good. Analysis revealed that his bicep and his bulge had been somewhat “enhanced”. At the shoot, Bieber allegedly gave the directive that he wanted to look “taller and buff”. Well, one out of two ain’t bad.

My week ended at the glittering Golden Globes, but it started on the other side of the country. My pal Jeff Timmons of the pop group 98 Degrees was at the Wilbur Theater in Boston headlining The Men of the Strip. This troupe of male strippers from Las Vegas have been featured on E! The “hook” is that they all sing and dance in the style of a boy band. What I think really sets them apart from other groups is that they don’t cater solely to the ladies. Yes, there is the typical strip show banter about the types of women the guys like, which elicits squeals of delight from the ladies. But at a certain point, they asked where the men were. The gaggle of gays (and a smattering of straight guys, I’m sure) cheered. The guys onstage said, “We love our guy fans.” As if to underscore that point, let me ask you this – how often does Jeff Timmons sing “Invisible Man” to a guy? Or interpolate the name Billy Masters into the lyrics? Happily, a fan sent me the video, which you can see on BillyMasters.com.

There’s been lots of buzz around Into The Woods. The movie has already made history – its opening weekend was the biggest film launch of a Broadway adaptation. A number of you have wondered what other actors were up for roles in this musical. A few years after the show opened on Broadway, Hollywood was ready to film it. There was a deal with Columbia which would have starred Cher as the Witch, Robin Williams as the Baker, Goldie Hawn as his wife, Steve Martin as the Wolf, and (in a bit of whimsical casting) Danny DeVito as the Giant. After a closed reading, that project was abandoned. In 1997, Columbia revived the idea as a vehicle for Billy Crystal as the Baker, Meg Ryan as his wife, and Susan Sarandon as the Witch. Needless to say, nothing came of that.

While we’re already two weeks into the new year, in Hollywood the year doesn’t begin until awards season. And that gets kicked off with the Golden Globes, which were hosted by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler – allegedly for the last time. And, dare I say, it was a somewhat lackluster showing. While the idea of having a North Korean general-reviewer attend the proceedings might have been Tina and Amy’s idea, it was Margaret Cho who virtually stole the show. It was also a big night for Transparent and the trans community. I suppose Kevin Spacey winning ties into this column, but let’s not go there.

Our first Ask Billy question of the year comes from Harry in Florida: “I hear that there is a video circulating of [a very famous heartthrob] getting a blow job.  Is it true?  Have you seen it?”

Since I don’t want to be named a witness, I can’t say that I’ve seen any such video.  Of course, I also can’t say one doesn’t exist.  But I can say that some stills purported to be from this video may appear on BillyMasters.com.

There are headlines everywhere quoting David Geffen as saying, “My 20-year-old football player ex-boyfriend is stalking me.”  Let’s dissect this.  First, when was David Geffen born?  Sometime in the Paleozoic Age, I think (but only carbon dating could tell us for sure).  And if the tyke at 20 years old is an ex, how old was he when he was dating Geffen?  Clues come from the actual story.  The boyfriend, Jamie Kuntz, is a former North Dakota State College of Science student.  Way back in 2012, he was spotted kissing Geffen in the press box at the stadium.  When he was asked who the guy was, Kuntz said (and I quote), “He’s my grandfather.”  I know you all think I am an ageist pain in the ass, but can I just say one thing?  If someone you are dating is able to convince anyone that you are their grandparent, you’re TOO OLD to be dating them!  Frankly, I didn’t read any further to see how Grandpa Geffen claims he is being stalked.

Just before the holidays, Tuc Watkins wrote a lengthy missive on Facebook that began thusly: “I think Modern Family is clever, hilarious, even terrifically subtle at times.  But, for the most part, I have a hard time laughing at the gay guys.  In fact, I kinda cringe.  It feels a little bit like the gay equivalent of ‘blackface’.  It doesn’t feel ‘modern’ at all.”  Methinks someone is forgetting their work on Desperate Housewives.  Yes, Tuc was the half of the gay couple who could “pass” (to use a passé term).  But his spousal-equivalent, played by Kevin Rahm, had his share of stereotypical moments.  It’s probably indelicate to point out that, unlike Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Tuc was not openly gay when he took on this role in 2007.  So nobody was looking to him as a role model.  He was presumed to be gay-for-play (although we knew better).

Jesse Tyler Ferguson responded by saying (in part): “Sorry you feel that way, Tuc.  I know lots of guys who are just like Cam and lots of guys who are just like Mitch.  We can’t be expected to represent every gay person.  We can only represent these two people…I am thrilled with the work that you did on Desperate Housewives.  It opened the door for shows like ours and hopefully we can hold that door open for many more shows to follow us.  At the end of the day we can’t please everyone…and we shouldn’t try to.  Kinda just like life, right?”  Bravo.

The Queen announced her honorees on New Year’s Day.  At long last, Joan Collins made the cut; she must henceforth be refer to as Dame Joan Collins.  And this got me thinking – now that Sir Elton John and David Furnish are legally married in the United Kingdom, shouldn’t David now be referred to as Lady Furnish (or, to be precise, Lady John).  After all, when someone is a Sir, his wife (if she takes his name) is accorded the courtesy title of Lady.  Because the British honours system has not been updated to reflect same-sex marriage, Furnish ends up with nothing.  And yet, someone did go to the trouble to write what I find to be a very strange codicil: if the Prince of Wales (aka a future King of England) were to marry a man, his spouse would NOT get the title Queen or Princess.  Let’s start guessing which prince inspired this bit of legislation.