A couple months ago I reported about a married Republican politician in Louisiana who allegedly picked up a kid at a high school luncheon, started sexting with him, met him at his job at the mall food court, brought him a gift of some undies, and then made out with him in the men’s room.  Does any of that ring a bell?  Well, it doesn’t with the politician in question.  In an interview, Mike Yenni claims that much of the story was made up.  While he doesn’t want to go through it “line by line”, he says he never saw the lad at any high school function.  In fact, they first met when they were both a part of a “group text”.  When asked why he was sending explicit texts to a 17-year-old, he says it was “a stupid decision to send a text to, in my opinion, another consenting adult that we had, we had, we had some off-color texts.”  When asked if he meant the things he said in the texts, Yenni says, “Probably not, ’cause nothing was acted upon.  There was no sex.”  When asked if he bought the boy underwear, Mike said, “There are fictional elements to this story.”  When asked if they kissed, Yenni said, “There was no sex.  There was no sexual contact”.  Well, I guess it depends on how you define “sexual contact”.

Social media was all a-twitter with rumors that Mike Pence may have done gay porn in the past.  The allegation was accompanied by a photo of a very hot man indeed.  But it’s not Pence.  The porn pup in question is Brad Patton – aka Joel Mangs.  First off, Mangs/Patton was born in 1972 – Pence hails from the late ’50s.  Patton ended his porn career with a bang (or a mang) in 2007, and then continued working as a professional ice skater.  He’s won two gold medals at the Gay Games and two silver medals at the World OutGames.  He’s also been a member of Disney on Ice and appeared on Dancing on Ice in the Netherlands.

It was a sad Thanksgiving in the Masters household when we got word that Florence Henderson had died.  Only days earlier she appeared on the season finale of Dancing with the Stars.  Flo was a helluva gal.  Actually, she liked to be called a “dame”, apropos of her starring role in the 1967 revival of South Pacific.  In fact, Henderson performed “There Is Nothing Like a Dame” at last year’s Broadway Backwards, which raised money for Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS and the NYC Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Community Center.  Yes, Mrs. Brady was always there for us.  I have a plethora of stories that I could share, but my most treasured anecdote is from two years ago after her show at the Catalina Bar & Grill.  I told her about a friend who had been a child actor and had fond memories of appearing opposite her in the 1970 musical, The Song of Norway – her first film.  A week or so later I ran into Flo at a party.  She told me she couldn’t stop thinking about my friend and how sweet it was that he still thought about her.  She then pointed to my phone and said, “Can you record a video on that thing?”  I said yes.  She asked me to film her sending a message to my friend.  That was Flo.  RIP.

After a long story about a British reality show, why not a story about a British reality star with a really long penis?  Brandon Myers is a very hot 19-year-old who’s been featured on MTV-UK‘s Ex on the Beach.  He’s also posted photos of his enormous penis.  So I wasn’t surprised when he posed nude for FitYoungMen.com, saying “Everyone was talking about it on Ex on the Beach.  It’s nine and a half inches, and it’s a bit like having a tripod, or a third leg.”  The site charges $57 to see his “9.5 inches of uncut beauty”.  It’s far less on BillyMasters.com.

I know I said I was done talking about the trainwreck that is Finding Prince Charming, but I can’t keep this to myself.  After last week’s reunion special, Chad (a trainwreck himself) posted the most vitriolic Instagram rant – and I loved every bit of it!  In it, he exposes our prince, Robert Sepulveda, as a lying whore, among other things.  He took issue with Robert constantly talking about being authentic.  Here are some of the highlights: “How about being authentic that you’re still hooking”, “How about coming clean that you embezzled over $40K from the Atlanta rainbow crosswalks project”, “How about being authentic about the fact that you actively pursued me, Brandon, Eric and Paul right after the show wrapped”, “How about being authentic about seeing your Johns just before and AFTER the show finalized shooting”.  He ends the diatribe by revealing that Robert tried to sleep with him at Market Days in Chicago.  Chad claims he turned Robert down.  “But even then, without knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t go near that science experiment.  And by science experiment I’m talking about his penis”.

Something that was certainly not a stunt was an incident involving Wanda Sykes – and I’m embarrassed to say it happened in my beloved Boston.  Sykes performed at the 22nd annual Comics Come Home benefit for the Cam Neely Foundation for Cancer Care at the Boston Garden….err, the TD Garden.  Wanda waded into political waters, saying, “I am certain this is not the first time we’ve elected a racist, sexist, homophobic president.”  Kinda edgy, pretty tame for Wanda.   She got quite a few boos, but was definitely not booed off stage.  “I didn’t go anywhere.  I was booed while ON stage in the middle of my set.  Some people in the audience didn’t want to hear my Trump jokes.  Hell, I couldn’t even get to the punch lines.  They were booing the setups.  They were yelling for me to shut the F up and to go F myself, so I simply told them how that made me feel.  I then moved on to other material, got some laughs and said goodnight.  I left the stage with my head held high and with my middle finger even higher,” says Sykes.  Some reporters also mentioned that as she left the stage, a female fan ran up and hugged her.  Sykes clarified that, too.  “Then ‘some woman’, who happens to be my beautiful wife, ran onstage, gave me a huge kiss, and flashed the peace sign.  To my surprise, the audience cheered and applauded.  It was a great moment and it gave me a little hope for our future.  Peace & Love, Wanda”.

A lot of people have been talking about Mike Pence seeing Hamilton on Broadway.  First things first – how did our next vice president get tickets?  And did he pay?  ‘Cause that’s a lot of tickets for Mr. and Mrs. Pence, the Secret Service, and the guys who travel with him to electrocute…err, “convert” any gays they meet.  Far more amazing is that anyone took offense to Brandon Victor Dixon‘s speech (which was actually written by composer/lyricist Lin-Manuel Miranda).  Trump Tweeted that the cast was “rude” and “harassed” Pence, and he demanded an apology.  Did Trump even see the video of the speech?  It’s readily available online because Dixon told the audience to record it.  On Sunday’s Face the Nation, Pence said that he was not offended, adding “hats off to the cast and the extraordinary team of Hamilton.”  So, what is this really about?  Perhaps former Celebrity Apprentice contestant George Takei has stumbled on the truth: “I wonder if Pence went to Hamilton to take our focus off the Trump University fraud settlement.”  Things that make you go hmmmm.

For those of you who are ass men, there’s certainly no bigger ass than Prince Philip – at least, as depicted by Matt Smith in The Crown.  Yes, he acts like an ass, but he’s also happy to show his off.  Twice we’ve seen him lying face-down on the bed with his buttocks rising up like the Rock of Gibraltar.  Oh, it most certainly is a sight to behold – as you can see on BillyMasters.com.

Our Ask Billy question from Kevin in Chicago straddles both topics of the election and nudity: “In the Will & Grace election special, they mention Viggo Mortensen‘s dick in Eastern Promises.  WOW – it’s huge.  Has he been nude in anything else?”

If this endless election season brought us nothing else, it did deliver Viggo’s dick.  While I might be bold enough to suggest that Mortensen’s career can stand on its own, so can his penis.  Without question, the bathhouse fight in Eastern Promises gave you a good glimpse of it swinging about.  But in this year’s Captain Fantastic, you get a much better view of it in a less chaotic scene.  I’m happy to deliver both to you on BillyMasters.com.

When I look back on my life, I suspect I’ll regret every moment spent watching Logo‘s reality dating show Finding Prince Charming.  But, as a completist, I am obliged to tell you about last week’s reunion.  First off, we found out that there was some sexual activity amongst the suitors – surprise, surprise.  Sam confirmed that he hooked up with Chad on the first night.  “I was open to love with anybody, and I was horny, and I wasn’t into Robert, so fair game for me, baby.  All’s fair in love and war.  And he loved it.”  Chad did not confirm if he loved it, but the news didn’t surprise me.  After all, Chad is the same guy who allegedly came onto Eric also on the first night.

Speaking of Eric, the “winner” (a dubious distinction at best) and Robert are not a couple on any level.  Robert said he’s moved to LA and that they are “exploring this relationship” – while poor Eric sat there like a medicated Stepford wife.  The two barely made eye contact, didn’t hold hands, and showed almost no outward signs of affection.  But, that’s not surprising.  In fact, that’s been the problem with the whole show.  The most we ever got from anyone all season was some tense, closed-mouthed kisses and a few bits of physical contact that wouldn’t be out of place in a Jane Austen book!  The entire series was so sanitized and non-sexual, I really felt like it ended with Robert and Eric poised to go on a first date rather than find love.  I daresay Robert’s previous “clients” got more affection than Eric has – but, then again, those clients paid!  In fact, Robert’s shampoo bottle got more action, as you can see on BillyMasters.com.

Here we are, days after the election, and everyone is trying to make sense of it all.  Since it’s my job to entertain you, let’s start with a fun fact: our new first lady, Melania Trump, will not be the first wife of a US president that we’ve seen naked.  Nope, that honor goes to Hustler cover girl of August 1975, Jackie Kennedy.  Prior to this explicit “spread”, some of the photos had been featured in newspapers around the world under the headline “Billion Dollar Bush”.  Allegedly, Aristotle Onassis was trying to dump Jackie and tipped off photographers as to where they could catch her naked.  He even gave them a map – to her swimming spot, not her bush!

This leads perfectly into our Ask Billy question from Daniel in Florida.  “I heard there’s a j/o video of Ben Cohen floating around out there.  Do you have it?  I’m sure he’s HUGE.”

I actually met rugby great Ben Cohen in Florida after he made an appearance for the Task Force in Miami.  He’s one of our strongest straight allies and a huge advocate for anti-bullying.  Alas, this week he was also caught with his kit off in an explicit Skype session with an anonymous lady from his past.  Since Cohen is threatening legal action and the clip has all but disappeared online, I don’t want to comment on the length or, for that matter, the girth of it.  That would imply that I’ve seen it – or that you could see it on BillyMasters.

Time for another installment of Olympians Behaving Badly.  This week, a naughty webcam video was leaked of silver medalist Louis Smith oiling his javelin (OK, I’m mixing events, but just go with it).  Bad as that may be, it’s far better than the previous video which showed Smith mocking Islam and which led to a two-month suspension by British Gymnastics.  Apparently he’s got more than just time on his hands – as you’ll see on BillyMasters.com.

We can all breathe a sigh of relief as our long, national nightmare has come to an end.  Of course, I’m talking about Finding Prince Charming.  In the last episode, Robert came clean (so to speak) with the final three suitors about his colorful past.  “It’s not fair for you guys to be as honest and upfront with me, and me, you know, feel scared about letting you guys in.  You guys were, you know, scared about divulging things that were, you know, secrets,” Robert started, with all the eloquence of someone who speaks English as a third language.  “When I was in college, you know, I was struggling.  So, um, I started escorting.”  Dillon said Robert shouldn’t let it define who he is today, and thanked him for sharing – like it was an AA meeting.  Eric said, “Thank you for being so vulnerable and in the moment.  It doesn’t change anything.”  And then he pulled Robert in for a kiss, which makes me think this may not be Eric‘s first brush with the world’s oldest profession.  Brandon said he was honored that Robert trusted them so much that he was willing to open up.  One thing was clear – Logo knew what they were getting with Robert.  And since the entire season was filmed prior to broadcast, it was easy for this “secret” to leak out – with Logo‘s blessing.

But the episode was not without drama.  At one point, Brandon was skipping through a crosswalk and snapped a tendon.  In fact, it happens while he is not only skipping but singing, “Skip to my lou, my darling”!  Look, I couldn’t make this shit up.  So at the black tie ceremony, he was not only on crutches, but probably in as much pain as the viewers were.  When Robert dumped him, Brandon hobbled over, balanced on his crutches, and somehow took off his tie.  He was stoic, while Robert was crying like a little girl – and actually wiped away some of the tears with Brandon’s tie!  Then Robert told Eric, the hairdresser from West Hollywood, that he is his Prince Charming.  As Robert brushed a stray hair off Eric’s forehead, I half expected him to call Eric “Hubbell“!

According to GLAAD, there are more LGBTQ characters on the small screen today than at any other time in history – or at least in the two decades that GLAAD has been monitoring the situation.  Of course, half of those people are on Finding Prince Charming and RuPaul’s Drag Race!

I was with Darren Criss the night he became a man.  Let’s start at the beginning.  I attended the LA opening night of the national tour of Hedwig and the Angry Inch with some trepidation.  When I first saw Hedwig in 1999, it was at the Henry Fonda Theatre – a venue half the size of (and across the street from) the cavernous Pantages, where it is currently playing.  I also wasn’t sure about Darren’s ability to lead this production.  Yes, he played the role towards the end of the Broadway run, and yes, he’s cute as a button.  But I didn’t know if his winning qualities would be enough to pull off this character.  Also, the e-mails offering $29 tickets made me think that perhaps he’s not quite enough of a draw to have his name above the title.

Most of my fears were somewhat allayed.  Since it was opening night, the house was packed and the energy high.  The conceit behind the spiffy production values works, but the show still loses much of its magic in such a huge venue.  As to Criss, his strong vocals let me know he could more than handle the material.  But what surprised me was his ability to morph into various characters with very specific speech patterns and inflections.  His delivery of surely well-rehearsed ad libs was matched by his fearlessness in embracing silent moments and letting them play out.  As I told him at the after-party, he started out as a cute, talented boy, but in the course of the evening, he became a man.  His performance impressed me so much, I almost didn’t notice his abs during the nearly-naked finale – which you can find on BillyMasters.com.  I highly recommend it (and him).

Days before the opening, West Hollywood honored Darren by crowning him the King of the Halloween Carnaval.  I’m sure his presence in the bedlam that is WeHo on Halloween was a good promotion for the show.  The opening night of Hedwig certainly brought out celebrities, but not the usual crowd.  There was nary a Ruta Lee or Jo Anne Worley to be had!  Instead we got people like John Stamos, Margaret Cho, Taylor Lautner, Ross Mathews, and even Courtney Love.  But what stuck with me was the vision of a very haggard and deranged-looking Demi Moore.  Consider this – how spooky must she have looked for me to say that after seeing Courtney Love???

Our Ask Billy question comes from Randall in London.  “Have you checked out The Young Pope?  It’s really great.  And you get to see Jude Law‘s ass!”

Do people actually want to see any Pope nude – young or otherwise? I suppose for Jude Law, we’ll consider it.  The show also has Diane Keaton playing a nun, which intrigues me.  It started airing in England last week, and will be on HBO in February.  But why wait?  You can see the important parts of the first episode on BillyMasters.com.

Tom Hanks is all for the remake of Splash.  And he’d like to be involved…as Channing Tatum‘s lover!  “Look, I think if they were really going to be bold, I would come back as Allen Bauer, and I would go off with Channing Tatum.  That would be a bold move.  And I am suggesting it right now.”  I guess while you can take the fish out of the man, you can’t take the man out of the fish!

Carol Burnett has had one helluva week!  On Monday, it was announced that she’s headed to ABC to star in a sitcom created by Amy Poehler.  The next day, I was at the grocery store and saw the front cover of The Globe tabloid which exclaimed “Carol Burnett, 83 – THE END!  Brave farewell to fans”.  So, what’s the truth?  While I believe Burnett is in fine health, ABC may have hedged their bets just a tad.  The plot of the new sitcom is as follows – a young couple gets a great deal on their dream house, but it comes with one condition – they must live with the current owner, an older actress, until she dies.  Guess who plays the actress?

The Saturday matinee performance of Rossini‘s opera William Tell at the Metropolitan Opera in NYC was stopped before the last act and the audience was ushered out while local police and federal agents investigated.  During the intermission, a suspicious-looking man walked down to the front of the theatre, reached into a black bag and then sprinkled some powder into the orchestra pit.  An orchestra member reported this activity and the theatre worried about a possible terrorist attack – because if there’s one thing ISIS hates more than Hillary Clinton, it’s opera!  Turns out, the culprit was Roger Kaiser, a 52-year-old opera buff from Dallas who had flown up to NYC specifically to go to the Met and scatter some ashes of his friend and mentor.  While leaving ashes in special places like Broadway theatres, sports arenas, etc. is a common occurrence, it’s foolish in these hypersensitive times.  Thus far, Kaiser is not being charged with any crime.  Met head honcho Peter Gelb said, “We appreciate opera lovers coming to the Met; we hope that they will not bring their ashes with them.”

There’s been lots of talk about Garrett Clayton playing gay porn pup Brent Corrigan.  But another former Disney star is making a buzz with his new project.  Ross Lynch, who starred in Austin & Ally and Teen Beach Movie, has been cast as the gay, cannibal, serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.  That’s quite a role for a Disney star to chew on!

It would be interesting to hear Shep’s take on Jim Walker, another Fox News anchor.  Well, I should say former anchor.  He’s now making news because of his new occupation – gay porn actor!  His porn name is Dallas Steele, but he doesn’t seem to mind blurring the lines between the two.   In a recent interview, he reveals this transition happened during a difficult time in his life.  His partner died and this left him with huge financial issues.  At the same time, he was let go by Fox News after they told him he was “unlikeable”.  Since then, he’s bent over backwards – and forwards – to prove them wrong!  How did he prepare for his new profession?  First thing he did was get butt implants.  As I always say, play to your strengths!  In the past year and a half, he’s taken the industry by storm.  You can see some of his work on BillyMasters.com.

If you vote for Hillary Clinton, I will give you a blow job.  And I’m good.  I’m not a douche,
and I’m not a tool.  I take my time.  I have a lot of eye contact.  And I do swallow.”
– Madonna.  In a related story, Madonna also pledged to blow people who voted for Trump.

I find it staggering that technology can make enormous strides forward while, at the same time, art can take just as many steps backward.  In the golden age of movie musicals (the ’40s, ’50s, and ’60s), songs were lip-synched – in many cases, to a different person’s voice!  And yet, the end result was often not only convincing but award-winning.  This ability seems to be lost – much like the mystery of the pyramids or Pia Zadora‘s career.  FOX, the network that revolutionized live musicals on TV with Grease: Live!, all but killed the genre with a misguided and pointless remake of The Rocky Horror Show.  While there is enough blame to go around, the sound designers and producers should be charged with crimes against humanity at The Hague.  Nobody seems to care about matching the ambient sound in a recording studio to that on a soundstage.  Likewise, the performers don’t realize that a great studio recording is far different than one which is realistic for acting and movement.

But the biggest mistake was the casting of Laverne Cox.  Strike that – the biggest mistake was Laverne Cox accepting the role.  With this one decision, she undid whatever good she’s done for the transgender movement.  She’s playing a role confusingly referred to in the revised script as both “she” and “he” (usually “he” is used).  And, when the character sings “I’m not much of a man”, we’re seeing these ginormous titties bursting out.  After Rocky has sex with Frank-N-Furter, why is he so intrigued by Janet?  In the original, it’s because he’s never touched breasts.  Maybe in this case, it’s because her breasts were so small…and less tanned!  Cox never seemed to have a clear grasp on who this character was.  And, what was that accent?  It was like a cross between Tim Curry and Dame Joan Collins.  In fact, it was as if Dame Joan were doing a Curry impersonation!  For someone who has fought hard to be accepted as a woman, Cox gave a performance which seemed like an audition for RuPaul’s Drag Race.  So much for progress.  BTW, I am not alone in my opinion – the bulk of the reviews were middle-of-the-road to abysmal.  As to ratings, half the number of people who tuned in for Grease: Live even bothered to check this out.

Someone who is whore-adjacent is Cheyenne Jackson.  His whorey-ness became more visual when we got our hands on that nasty j/o video of him (some things last forever on BillyMasters.com).  But this week, our story is about another use for semen.  Didya know it could be used to make babies?  Chey and hubby Jason Landau just had twins.  Last week, their surrogate gave birth to Willow and Ethan.  Congrats.

Bette Midler has often expressed her desire to make a sequel to the film Hocus Pocus.  In fact, she revived the character of Winifred Sanderson for her 2015 tour (you can see the video on BillyMasters.com).  Well, she’s once again donning her witchy drag.  On October 28th, Bette will appear as Winifred (and, most certainly, sing “I Put A Spell On You”) at her annual Hulaween party, which benefits the New York Restoration Project.  As if that alone wouldn’t bring the gays out to the swanky Waldorf Astoria, the party will also feature a performance by Darlene Love and be hosted by Kathy Griffin – remember her?  Rumor has it, Midler is trying to enlist her Hocus Pocus co-stars Kathy Najimy and Sarah Jessica Parker to appear as well.  Get your tickets now at NYRP.org.

Also at the MiFo Festival was Strike a Pose, the documentary about Madonna‘s dancers from the Truth or Dare film (and the Blond Ambition tour).  It’s hard to imagine how different the world was 25 years ago.  And how Madonna really took it all on with not only her best musical material, but also with a show that had all the bells, whistles, singers and dancers to push her agenda.  The dancers (except for Gabriel, who died of AIDS in 1995) reunited for this documentary about that time, their experiences, and the aftermath.  Madonna, who several of the dancers sued, is no longer a part of any of their lives.  It’s clear that Truth or Dare captured these guys at their artistic (and physical) peak.  And in a way, it ruined them for whatever life would later offer.  They tried, they lived in hope, they still hope, but nothing will come close to that time of their lives.  It was lovely to see how much personal growth they’ve gone through.  There’s a normalcy missing from their lives, but they toured the world with Madonna – that’s the trade-off.  It’s a curious doc that could have (and should have) been so much better.  Blame it on the Dutch – it was funded in part by Dutch Public TV.  I know it’s a small country, but couldn’t they find some good mikes?  The person I understood the most was Jose‘s mom – and she was speaking Spanish!

It’s so easy to talk about people anonymously.  But once you know them and their situations, it becomes quite difficult.  Case in point,  Brent Corrigan – subject of the film King Cobra, which I saw at the MiFo LGBT Film Festival in Fort Lauderdale.  I used to have lots of fun at Brent’s expense.  He was young, good-looking, involved in underage porn, and was the center of a dramatic murder case.  He was like a gay Traci Lords – with a little Patty Hearst thrown in!  Since he appeared to have come out of it better than everyone else involved, I felt he was fair game – even when I was onstage in front of him!  Then something terrible happened – I got to know him.  Despite not liking my jokes, he was charming and we became friendly.  The more I knew, the less funny it all seemed.

It should be mentioned that James Franco‘s King Cobra was done without Brent’s assistance or blessing.  And perhaps that’s why he comes out of it the least fully realized character.  Most of the others come across as damaged and desperate – specifically the guy who “discovered” and exploited Brent, and the two rival porn producers/stars who wanted to work with Brent.  They decide the best way to eliminate Corrigan’s binding contract with his mentor is to eliminate the mentor.  By the end of the film, you have sympathy for everyone involved – except, ironically, Brent.  Corrigan comes out scarred but still standing – and showing off his backside to the camera and winking (his eye, not his ass).  The real Brent Corrigan was wise to not get involved.  But you would be wise to see this film – even if you think you know it all.

Our Ask Billy question this week goes back to our first story.  Joshua in Chicago asks, “What do you know about Garrett Clayton?  He plays Brent Corrigan in that movie and is gorgeous.  He must be gay.”

Must he?  Depends on who you ask.  If you ask Garrett, he’ll tell you, “I don’t really like talking about my personal life.  I like a certain amount of veil.”  Ask yourself this question – how many straight men use the word “veil” in a sentence?  Exactly.  While he’s undeniably hot, I don’t think he captured Corrigan’s je ne sais quoi.  He needed more “quoi“.  What he doesn’t need – or want – is more clothing.  “I like to be as naked as possible.  If friends come over, I’ll just have on basketball shorts with no socks, no shirt, and maybe underwear.  I hate clothes.”

This leads perfectly into our Ask Billy question.  Terry in Rhode Island asks, “I heard the paparazzi got shots of Tom Brady sunbathing in the nude.  True?  Do you have the photos?”

True and yes.  I hasten to add that Tom attempted to employ a well-positioned towel.  But it wasn’t that well-positioned, as we found a photo that captures what we’re calling a dick-slip!  There’s definitely nothing deflated about his assets, which you can see on BillyMasters.com.

Speaking of outcalls, time for yet another Finding Prince Charming update.  In last week’s episode, our former rentboy planned a masquerade ball and asked the suitors to design masks that reveal a secret that they’ve kept hidden.  Oh, goodie, goodie – finally Robert‘s escorting past will come out.  And maybe the guys will gather round to watch the videos you’ve all seen on BillyMasters.com.  They decorate the mansion, everyone’s in black tie, and Robert shows up – in broad daylight.  What the hell kinda ball takes place at high noon?  I’m not even awake by then!  Logo, get on the ball.  At least ABC has the good sense to hide that it’s daytime when they do these things.

Although Robert doesn’t want the guys to have any secrets, it becomes clear that he’s not gonna reveal a thing.  But, wait – we travel back in time to 1996.  Yes, because it would have to be at least 20 years ago that well-travelled gays in their 30s and living in a thriving metropolis would consider it a BIG secret to reveal they are HIV-positive.  Of course it’s still a big deal, but it isn’t the death sentence it was two decades ago.  So Eric (the hairdresser living in LA) makes this big revelation to Robert (the hooker).  Of course, Robert picks Eric for the one-on-one date because if he doesn’t, he’ll look worse than he is…if that’s possible.  On that date, Robert shocks us by making a big revelation of his own.  He can identify with Eric’s struggle because…get ready for it…Robert cared for an uncle who died of AIDS in the ’90s.  My God, he’s the next Mother Teresa – give him the Nobel Peace Prize right now!  And, in case we didn’t know it was no longer 2016, Robert kisses Eric’s hand not once but twice.  Yeah, after Eric just revealed he is HIV-positive, Robert’s kissing him on the hand didn’t feel awkward at all!

But that’s not the most shocking story of the week from a Republican.  That honor must go to Mike Yenni, a lieutenant with the US Navy Reserves and Jefferson Parish President.  Last week, it was revealed that the conservative Louisianan had been sexting a 17-year-old boy.  Two years ago, when Yenni was mayor of the city of Kenner, he met the boy at a Catholic high school graduation lunch.  At least Trump waits till they’re out of their teens!  Somehow, the two exchanged phone numbers – as I suppose Catholic high school boys often do with 40-year-old politicians.  Yenni then tracked the boy down to his place of employment – a mall food court!  The two spent some private time making out in the mall bathroom, where Yenni presented the boy with some designer underwear.  Yenni then sent a text asking if the boy had worn the underwear – and asked to see a photo of him modeling them!  Eventually, Yenni proposes a sexual encounter.  Then he suggests a three-way with an older boy.  The now-19-year-old boy claims that they never had sex.  Even if they did, it would not have been illegal since the age of consent is 17 in Louisiana.  The boy told Yenni when they started texting that he was 17.  Yenni’s response?  “I know the laws.”  Reports now claim that Yenni sexted with at least eight males on parish-funded phones.  Under pressure from his constituents, he is encouraging a full investigation and is refusing to step down…for now.

As we go to press, the Trump/Clinton debate is beginning without an opening handshake.  How could you blame Hillary?  She’s probably worried Donald will reach for her pussy.  Yes, that’s where the presidential race has gone.  And it’s all because of Nancy O’Dell!  If an Entertainment Tonight anchor was going to bring down a presidency, I would have thought it would have been Mary Hart or John Tesh!  Comments Trump made to Billy Bush on a hot mike way back in 2005 somehow went public.  Regarding my dear O’Dell, he said, “I did try and fuck her.  She was married.  I moved on her very heavily…I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there and she was married.  And all of a sudden I see her and she’s got the big, phony tits.  She’s totally changed her look.”  All the while, Billy Bush is giggling like a schoolgirl – he’s since been suspended by NBC.  But a different Billy is laughing now.  Because the time Trump saw a transformed O’Dell was at the 2004 Emmy Awards.  And who was with Nancy that night?  Your humble scribe, that’s who.  And the photos are on BillyMasters.com.

Getting back to that incriminating audio (made shortly after the Emmys), Trump sees sees actress Arianne Zucker and says to Bush, “Whoa!  Whoa!  I’ve got to use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her.”  If nothing else, this brought attention to Tic Tacs, a mint I think is as relevant as Certs with Retsyn – whatever the hell that is!  Tic Tacs issued a statement: “Tic Tac represents all women.  We find the recent statements and behavior completely inappropriate and unacceptable”.  As if that wasn’t bad enough, Trump followed up his Tic Tac comment with this: “I’m automatically attracted to beautiful [women].  I just start kissing them, it’s like a magnet.  And when you’re a star, they let you do it.  You can do anything.  Whatever you want.  Grab them by the pussy.  You can do anything”.  It sounds like Miss Universe got off easily.  In fact, it sounds like Trump gets off easily, but that’s another story.

Someone who I think would make a kick-ass Truman Capote is our very own Leslie Jordan.  For now, he’ll have to settle for appearing on American Horror Story.  He turned up last week as Cricket, a psychic from New Orleans.  Needless to say, he was a welcomed presence indeed.  Alas, he won’t be a season regular.  Leslie tells me he’s only in one more episode.  But it’s a doozy.  “Lady Gaga makes me fuck her!”  Must See TV, indeed!

I caught up with Leslie at the annual Gay Days Anaheim last weekend, which was a smashing success.  It’s hard to believe that this tiny little event which started with a couple dozen friends (including moi) going to Disneyland in 1998 has turned into an annual event which attracts thousands of people from around the world.  The centerpiece of the festivities was a performance by Steve Grand at the Kingdom party.  Although he didn’t take off his shirt onstage, he showed quite a bit of skin at the Plunge pool party the next day.  You can check out pics on our website.  And while online, check out GayDaysAnaheim.com.  Kudos to everyone involved.

Let me get back to Leslie for a moment.  I got to see his latest one-man show, Straight Outta Chattanooga.  The titles of these shows are almost inconsequential since the stories change night to night depending on Leslie’s mood.  So if you go to see him multiple times, you will NEVER see the same show twice.  At this particular sold-out event, he talked about the now-openly gay singer Ty Herndon.  In details that I dare not share (but Jordan will tell you if you go to his shows), Leslie reveals that Herndon has a 12-inch penis.  I’ll let you chew on that for a while….

When Ty’s more than just a little bit country, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  We ran SO long.  And I had a great Ask Billy question to share with you – which included a celebrity nude.  I guess it’ll hold till next time.  But maybe it will turn up early on www.BillyMasters.com – site with no limits.  If you have a question, I’m always here for you.  Just send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Leslie Jordan is cast in a revival of Tru.  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

This little meander down memory lane was not only to entertain you, but to remind you of how far we’ve come.  Who would have thought that Will and Grace and Alexis and Fallon were all paving the way for a network devoted solely to us – a network centered around drag queens and cum-guzzling hookers.  We’ve come a long way, baby!  And so, with a dubious dose of pride, I report that the launch of Logo’s new season brought the fledgling network record ratings – due, in no small part, to the debut of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars and Finding Prince Charming.  If nothing else, can’t we celebrate that this has brought Lance Bass his first hit in 15 years?

Since we mentioned it, time for our Finding Prince Charming update.  And I am shocked – yes, shocked!  I went on record saying that Paul Hollowell – the guy with the dead ex – would be the winner.  WRONG!  Paul is history.  The die was cast when they were in the gym and Robert saw Paul struggling to do crunches.  Robert was surprised – after all, Paul’s got a hot body.  Then came Paul’s confession: “I basically told my trainer, ‘I don’t do anything with my muscles, so I don’t need something functional.  I just need something that looks good.'”  Truer words were never spoken.  But Robert was taken aback – you’d think he’d be used to being taken from the back by now!  He felt all along that Paul was very reserved and a perfectionist and would like to see him more relaxed and unguarded.  Well, this only makes sense.  How could someone with Robert’s colorful past (which is documented by numerous videos on our website) be with someone who is perfect?  After the fact, Paul posted the following cryptic post online: “I didn’t realize that one of the other guys was there for one reason: to win at any cost.”  Any guesses?”

Before Will & Grace, we had Dynasty.  Yeah, there was a gay son, but it was all kinda blah until Joan Collins joined the cast in the second season.  That’s when it took off.  Alexis totally accepted Stephen’s homosexuality.  Along the way, she became a beacon for women everywhere to accept their children without question (although her support wavered slightly after Fallon claimed to have been abducted by aliens).   Well, hurrah, Dynasty is coming back.  But, boo, it’s coming back as a reboot.  This means that it will have similar plots and characters, but they will be played by different people.  The proposed new series opens much like the original did – with the spoiled daughter of a rich man not completely accepting her new (and very young) stepmother.  Yes, the daughter is still Fallon, but the mother is Cristal (instead of Krystal), and she’s a fiery Latina.  Dios mio!

You kids out there may not know this, but gays weren’t always on television.  These days, every show eventually trots out a gay character – usually a persnickety type often portrayed by Wilson Cruz, Alec Mapa, Jai Rodriguez, or Rex Lee.  If I didn’t know them personally, I’d swear they were the same person.  The roles they play are so alarmingly similar, surely one of these talented gents could handle them all – and still have time to occasionally fill in for Rachel Maddow!  Anyway, my point is that in the long history of television, gays are a relatively new addition.

And much of the credit for that visibility must go to Will & Grace.  This was really the first TV show with gay leading characters that was a hit.  Sure, it wasn’t perfect.  And some of the characters perpetuated some stereotypes.  But the show also reflected a number of issues that were going on in the real world.  It also helped people who thought they never met a gay person be a whole less scared when they did.  In fact, many straight women went out looking for a Will to help them be a better woman.  Or for a Jack to help him be a better woman!  It took so much of the mystery out of what it is gay people do – which is ultimately the same as straight people, but in better-appointed apartments and wearing nicer clothes.  That mystery is now gone.

So, who better to help inspire people to vote than Will and Grace and Jack and Karen (with a little help from Rosario).  The cast reunited to film a mini-episode, and they slipped back into their roles seamlessly – with the exception of Mullally‘s now-red hair.  While it is unlikely that the characters and the apartment would not have changed in the decade since the show went off the air, the episode picks up where the series left off – save for Jack opening the refrigerator and exclaiming, “Why does everything in there look 10 years old?”  Although it sounds like they are using a really horrible laugh track, that won’t keep me from posting the full video on BillyMasters.com.  While the thrust of the episode appears to be pro-Hillary Clinton, it is actually called #VoteHoney.  Debra Messing clarified that message in a Tweet.  “No/ it was for #VoteHoney.  [Jack] wasn’t going to vote.  Karen was for Trump, W&G were for HRC.  Msg was you HAVE to vote.  Sitting out is not OK.”  OK.

“I swallow mine.”
– Robert Sepulveda‘s explanation to the contestants on Finding Prince Charming.  He was answering the
question of shouldn’t you spit out wine at a wine tasting.  As we know, swallowing is something Sepulveda specializes in.

Our requisite Ask Billy question about Finding Prince Charming comes from Trey in Laguna Beach: “I just want to know who at Logo Robert blew to get this gig?  Someone must have known.  I do love watching how when he is alone with each of them he makes them each feel good about themselves.  Well of course he does – it’s how he made a living.  A whore is the perfect choice for a show like this…which is why I think someone must have known.”

You’re certainly onto something.  As I’ve said, the hooker mentality is pretty close to the reality star mentality – you’re selling a product, and it’s all about romancing the right people.  Does he have something more to offer?  It’s getting less and less likely.  Aside from the numerous nasty videos of him you can find on BillyMasters.com, we now learn that prior to being cast on Finding Prince Charming, Sepulveda was served with eviction papers for failing to pay at least three months of rent on his one-bedroom apartment (the rent was $2,200 – a good rent for New York).  I guess business was slow, and he didn’t want to ask Marc Jacobs for help.  He was forced to vacate once the judge ruled against him.  So, he’s not only looking for love – he’s looking for a home!

Whoopi Goldberg dropped a minor bombshell last week.  During an appearance on The Wendy Williams Show, she was asked about her future with The View.  Whoopi was vague and talked about other things she’d like to do.  “So in September, when everyone comes back for the new season, you might not be there?” asked Williams.  “No, probably not,” said Whoopi.  “I have to move on baby, because I have to go and grow.  I got stuff to do, I got movies I need to direct, I got books I got to finish.”  You heard it here first…er, OK, second.

I’m a big fan of Billy Gilman.  Over the years, I watched him on the annual Jerry Lewis Telethon and saw him develop into a fine young man with a good voice – and he wasn’t so bad to look at.  While the perception is that he hasn’t had many opportunities since coming out, that isn’t quite true – the offers dried up long before his queer revelation.  He’s now resurfaced on The Voice singing Adele‘s “When We Were Young”.  He was great, and all of the judges vied for him (he chose Adam as his mentor).  While I’m happy for him, aren’t these competitions designed for unknowns to get a break?  American Idol didn’t let people compete who previously had a recording contract.  So Gilman is in a lull.  Does that make it fair for him to compete against unknowns?  What’s next?  Barbara Mandrell wanting to get away from her sisters and the County Fair circuit?  Reba McEntire crying about her dead band again?  We all have problems.  While I’m rooting for Billy, I’m not completely sure it’s fair.

We filed our last column on the heels of the Emmy Awards.  But there’s still some unfinished business.  One of Jimmy Kimmel‘s running bits was about the much-lauded Dame Maggie Smith, who has never shown up at an Emmy ceremony – despite having been nominated nine times, and winning three times.  So Kimmel made a vow – to win the award, you had to be present!  “If you want an Emmy, you better hop on a plane right now and get your Dowager Count-ass over here.”  When Dame Maggie did inevitably win, Jimmy stormed the stage saying, “No, No, No – we’re not mailing this to her.  Maggie, if you want this, it will be in Lost and Found.”  Maggie Tweeted: “I was very astonished and pleased to win the award.  I feel the Emmys have been overly generous to me.  If Mr. Kimmel could please direct me to the lost and found office I will try and be on the next flight.  Love, Old Maggie.”

Many of you have written in asking for details about the death of Alexis Arquette.  According to The Hollywood Reporter, Alexis was living in a West Hollywood apartment building run by The Actors Fund which provides low-income housing for actors who are HIV-positive and have an annual income between $17,400 – $29,000 per year.  Reportedly, Arquette had been HIV-positive for two decades, but towards the end refused to take certain medications which would have potentially been life-saving.  We’re told that an untreated liver infection spread throughout Arquette’s body.  As to the bigger question of gender, Alexis was always unwilling to talk about what surgeries had or had not taken place.  David Arquette said, “It was like, ‘Yeah, sometimes I’ll be a man, sometimes I’ll be a woman.  I like to refer to myself as gender suspicious’.”  David says he was confused – are you my sister or my brother?  In pure Alexis form, the response came quick: “It depends on how I’m dressed!”

Within 24 hours of Arquette’s death, the website xHamster got an offer to buy a sex tape featuring Alexis from an unnamed former lover.  The cost was $25K for the full rights.  The parties came to an agreement quickly.  But don’t look for the video on their website.  xHamster says, “Ms. Arquette was an icon and activist in the trans community and we could not see someone smear her memory the way the selling party was trying to do.  We acquired the tape and subsequently destroyed all copies of it.”  While I wouldn’t be so crass as to post the video, I’m sure Alexis wouldn’t mind if I shared photos of him showing off his enormous cock on BillyMasters.com.

Would you date a hooker?  Or a porn star?  It’s a silly question for me to answer – I refuse to sleep with anyone who I can’t check out on video first!  But for the average guy, it’s a reasonable concern, and one he probably wouldn’t even think to ask when going on a TV dating show.  After all, there’s an assumption that the network has checked everyone out, right?  So I’m not surprised that the guys from Finding Prince Charming are speaking out now that they’ve learned about the escorting past of their “Prince”, Robert Sepulveda – someone who not only escorted but engaged in quite a bit of questionable (and unhygienic) behavior on videos which can be seen on BillyMasters.com.  The most prevalent allegation is that Logo knew exactly who Robert was when they cast him, and perhaps leaked information about his past themselves in order to gain publicity for the show.  One of the contestants came right out and said, “I don’t believe the network was blindsided.  I don’t think anyone believes that.”  Another reveals that all of the guys “had to go through rigorous background checks for three weeks, and another three days before the show even started taping.”  Yet another was sure he recognized Robert from a gay porno film.  “As soon as I left the house and got my phone back, I Googled ‘Robert Sepulveda’ and the words ‘sex tape’ and there it was.  I didn’t even need to scroll down.”

This brings up a crucial point – allegedly each cast member had to sign a contract stating they didn’t appear in sex tapes or have nude photos that show their faces.  The guys feel that the same rules should have applied to Sepulveda – although I hasten to add that in most of the videos, his face is the least-featured part of his anatomy.  Now that the guys have seen the videos, they’re appalled.  “There are videos of Robert out there that are quite disgusting.  Now, I’m associated with him.  Try explaining that to your mother.”  Another was more to the point: “If I wanted to date a hooker, I’d hire one.  I’m beyond livid!”  While I’m all for these guys speaking out – they should and it’s their right – don’t hide behind the moniker of “unnamed contestant”.  Say who you are and own it.  I suspect they’re contractually unable to speak on the record until the reunion show, which has not yet taped.

Apropos of Rami Malek‘s Emmy win for Mr. Robot, our Ask Billy question comes from Jason in Baltimore: “I was reading some of your old columns on BillyMasters.com and saw the photo of Zayn Malik‘s penis.  It got me thinking, do you have any nude photos of Rami Malek from Mr. Robot?  He’s way hotter!  Tell me he’s gay.”

Alas, the new Emmy winner is not gay, but he has played gay before.  Back in 2005, he was on the show The War at Home where he was the neighbor who had a crush on the son, played by Jackson Rathbone.  As for seeing him nude, he recently showed all on Mr. Robot.  In one scene, he is strip searched by an officer who says, “Bend over, spread your ass.”  How could you even think I wouldn’t post that video on BillyMasters.com?